Vote. Just VOTE!

I truly believe this is the most important Presidential election that has occurred in my lifetime (since 1956, then).

I don’t know who will win… and frankly, both candidates have enough pros and cons going for them that I don’t believe we can mess up too badly either way, and in any case neither is capable of solving ALL (if any) our problems.

What concerns me is the possibility of another tiny win that keeps us polarized.  In 2000, Bush beat Gore by a mere 537 votes in the Florida recount.  That was a margin of three one-hundredth of a percent (.03%, or .0003).  The 2004 election was not tremendously better.

What I wish for more than anything is a turnout that is so huge that no one will be able to say, “Americans don’t care,” and for a win so decisive that the winner can say, “a clear majority of the people want me here.”

I mailed my absentee ballot.  I’ve completed my civic duty.  I pray that millions of other people do theirs.

Do your part.  Vote.  And every time you encounter someone of voting age, ask them, “are you voting on Tuesday?”  Don’t let anyone get away with saying “my vote doesn’t matter.”  It does!  Yours could be THE VOTE that determines the next President of the United States!

How cool is that?!

Attitude is Everything!

Digging through some old training material, I came across a fun little exercise that I’ve not used in years.  It still makes me smile.

ATTITUDE BY THE NUMBERS:

Using the english alphabet, assign a numerical value to each letter, starting with A=1 and Z=26

Example: Using this formula, the word CAT = 3+1+20=24

Got it?  Let’s try a few others.

HAPPINESS

__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__ = ___%

ATTITUDE

__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__ = ___%

This exercise proves that Happiness alone is not enough.  In the end, it is Attitude — the recognition that you can CHOOSE your Attitude — that makes the difference.  For we have just proven, mathematically, that attitude really IS everything!

OK, back to work.  In happiness, J

Short is sweet

I just finished up a two-hour class on using web tools to build relationships, build my brand, and support my business. My head is spinning.

BlogTalkRadio.  Twitter.  Twellow.  Ping.fm. Podcasts thru iTunes. Trendwatching. Tweetbeep.com. Blogging.  Audio files — MP3 or CD? Video on the blog.  “The static website is dead (or wil be within two years). ”

My brain hurts, and at the same time I’m processing all the possibilities — and the shifts.  The bottom line: most people don’t have the time — or won’t make the time — to read a lot of stuff or listen to long recordings or… well, people are moving fast.  We can grip about the sound-bite culture, or we can embrace the fact that it is that, and figure out how to prosper in that new reality.

Short is sweet.  Twitter is short.  I’ve set up an account at Twitter, and will play with another route to happiness.  Join me?!  http://twitter.com/JimSmithOnline

Happiness and the Stock Market

There’s been very little happiness in the financial world.  In order to keep from slipping into the black hole of depression about our financial situation, I’ve withdrawn a bit.  Do I really need to know what is happening in the market on an hour to hour basis?  No.  Day to day?  Hmm.  One day it’s down 700 points (sadness) and the next day it is up 600 (yay!). Up, down; up, down. So much drama!

I’m only reading news about the market once a week.  I can’t control anything, so I’ve stopped pretending that I can.  I’m observing the activity from a distance.  And I focus on what Good News I can create:

• I’m happy that last year our broker convinced us to diversify our retirement savings, reducing our mix of domestic stocks.  We’ve still lost value, but a lot less than we might have otherwise.
• I’m happy that we converted half my 401(k) into a life insurance annuity.  We were nervous at the time about locking in the money for ten years, but were convinced to make the shift because the tradeoff was a guaranteed minimum balance.  With the market tanking we are now grateful for the lower floor on our dollars — we may not be making any money on that part, but we aren’t losing any, either.
• I’m happy that we are more than ten years away from retirement.  Ten years is a long time for things to recover.  And if they don’t recover, ten years is a long time to come up with a Plan B.
• I’m actually happy that the turmoil is causing everyone to look at “how the system works.”  We are pretty creative as a society, but we tend not to change things that aren’t broken.  The beauty of this crisis is that all the best creative minds are rising to the occasion and asking, “how can we change the system so that this never happens again?!”  Even if they don’t create the perfect solution, what shakes out of this crisis is likely to be better than what was.
• On that note, it’s actually kind of cool to be present at the birth/rebirth of something this big.  (and yes, I am an incurable optimist who believes that crisis can be a good thing)

So, what’s your take on the financial crisis?  Are you focusing only on the worst possible news?  Are you monitoring the market more than you ever did before?  STOP!  You ignored things before, and they went up and down, and you were fine.  Unless you are planning to retire this year, you’re probably going to be in better shape by then, so who cares what the value of your retirement plan is today?

Put down the statement.  Back away from your computer.  Take a deep breath.  Pay attention to the basics you should have been practicing all along:  live your life with joy, don’t buy what you can’t afford, save something out of every paycheck, eat healthy food, exercise your body, breathe deeply when you find yourself stressed.

Oh — did you notice that I mentioned breathing two times in the same paragraph?  Intentional.  Breathing always helps.  The financial crisis will not kill anyone — but the stress of it might.  Don’t make yourself a victim.

Happiness and Healthcare

My dear father-in-law is currently in surgery — open heart surgery to repair his dissected (torn) aorta.  And we are sitting in the hospital totally happy!

Lester M. Dunning (initials LMD, aka Lucky Mr Dunning) has been healthy for 80 years, until eight weeks ago when he *thought* he hurt his back making a difficult shot on the golf course (tremendous shooting pain, etc).  He’s been in and out of his doctor’s office since then, taking antibiotics, feeling better and worse but never quite normal.  Something was not quite right with his system.  He was always tired.  He was losing weight.  He was running a low-grade fever every other day.  A nagging cough would not go away.  Everyone was wanting for him to feel better, but no one could figure out the problem.  Anxiety was running high.

Finally, his doctor sent him for a CAT Scan a couple days ago.  Minutes after he arrived home, his doctor was on the phone with the results: “Go to the hospital.  Now.”  Turns out he’s been walking around with a dissected aorta, a condition that normally results in death – yes, death – in 90% of cases, usually within a few hours.  Hours. And this man has been walking around w/ the condition for two months!

And not just walking.  WALKING!  On his good days, he and Lois were still maintaining their two-mile walking regimen.  He flew to Nova Scotia to visit Lois’ son.  Everyone in the healthcare system who has heard this story says the same thing: “wow – you must be just plain lucky!”  Statistically, he should be gone.  Statistically, his walking around — and let’s not even talk about the flying! — should have killed him.

His survival for this long with this condition is so unusual that several doctors have come in to examine and study him.  This morning, everyone on the 15-person surgical team came in to the pre-op area to meet him before they took him to the OR — because they wanted to meet this man who is a walking miracle.

With this much positive attention, is it any wonder that we was in an incredibly UPBEAT mood as they wheeled him away?  The surgical nurse came down to tell us that he was laughing and joking with the team as they put him under to start the procedure.

So, as serious as this surgery is (it doesn’t get more invasive than when they open your ribcage with a power saw!), we are THRILLED that he is undergoing this seven-hour ordeal. He is, indeed, Lucky Mr Dunning.

Clearly, he has more work to do in this life.  And we are pretty happy about that. 

Beauty in the air

Two ends of a flight.  Picture this.

1. Flying out of Miami International airport on a bright, sunny day, flying north, in a small plane:

To the left, smooth lines — the white strip of beach, parallel lines of orange and sand colored art deco buildings, fringed in green, green, green.  Beyond: the muddy green-brown of the Everglades, stretching out to the blue horizon.  To the right, bright blue water, shading to deep blue, out to the deepest blue where the sea meets the straight line of the sky.

2, Coming in to land at Cleveland Hopkins International on a picture-perfect autumn day:

A patchwork riot of color — green fields awaiting harvest, bordering brown fields freshly turned over for the winter rest.  Pastel and Cotton candy-colored housing developments pop up in the midst of green farmland. Puffy clusters of orange, red, yellow, rust, and green — the trees are wearing their best clothes for my arrival.

It may have been warmer in Miami, but I could never move away from the excitement of autumn color.  The view from the sky as we passed over the tree-lined Cuyahoga valley was… breathtaking.

I’m happy to be back home.

Happiness on the road

I’m on a road trip, and have a schedule that initially caused me some concern — where will I have time to take care of myself?  Tight flight schedules, early morning conference starts, group meals, and the extra time required to navigate an unfamiliar city often conspire to reduce or eliminate self-care time.

Still, I want to honor my values (Health — mental, physical, & emotional – is high on the list) on the road. During seven hours of transit time today, I found the following opportunities:

1. Standing in line to check luggage: a minute to check my stress level (a bit high) and take a few deep breaths to drop my stress down a notch.
2. Negotiating the TSA security checkpoint, I notice many people fumbling luggage and laptops and seemingly unable to negotiate shoe removal.  Over there is a businessman having a partial meltdown because the line is moving slowly.  Hmm — time to notice that I am in assessment about the intelligence of my fellow travelers. Oops!  I notice my frustration, then step back to consider other perspectives: they might be scared, tired, inexperienced travelers, or distracted by other concerns.  I let go of the assessment.  Ahhh.
3. Queuing up in the Southwest line to board the plane.  Time to smile, make eye contact with my fellow travelers, engage in some light conversation.  Nice – the human contact energizes me.
4. Taking off.  I play a little game with myself, which distracts me from thinking about how we could all CRASH AND DIE ANY SECOND!!!! …. as the plane starts down the runway, I lean back in my seat, close my eyes, and take deeeep, even breaths.  I tune in to the plane itself – the rumbling, the whine of the wheels, the vibrations – and I try to sense the precise moment when the plane hits takeoff speed and leaves the ground.
5. I have a two-hour layover.  Good thing, because my second flight leaves from a different concourse  I have a 20 minute walk.  I skip the moving sidewalks and hoof it. There’s half my daily workout!
6. Nothing to do at the gate.  I find a spot by the wall and sit lotus-style on the ground.  At first, I people watch.  After a bit, I shift attention to my breathing, and sit in meditation for a few minutes.
7. Hungry.  It’s way past lunchtime.  I could chow down on airport food (mostly high-fat, high-sugar stuff).  I choose instead (in spite of the fabulous smells coming from the Au Bon Pain store!) to open the bag of healthy homemade granola I brought along.
8. Still hungry.  I buy and consume dark chocolate.  YUM!
   

OK, so nobody’s perfect.  That last bit was to feed my soul, which needs dark chocolate to thrive, dontcha know?! 

So, even when I’m in foreign surroundings, in transit, and with only small pockets of time, I seek to practice happiness.

How about you?  Where do you look for ways to practice happiness and self-care?

Till next time.

No man is an island…

“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend’s or of thine own were. Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee…”
~~John Donne (Renaissance Poet), Meditation 17, Devotions upon Emergent Occasions

I recently came across this short poem by John Donne, which I memorized in junior high school and am still able to recite (mostly) today. It’s always meant a great deal to me, to know that I am, always, a part of something much bigger than I.

Although the passage speaks of death, my ‘read’ of it is much more about how we all connect. We are emotional creatures, all linked to one another in deeper ways than most of us admit or realize. When one of our members is angry, we all feel it. When someone comes in with Good News, we all feel lighter for hearing that.

In my mind I rewrite portions of this passage:

Any man’s sadness affects me, because I am involved….
Any man’s success improves me as well, because I am involved…
Any man’s unhappiness diminishes me, because I am involved….
Any man’s Happiness fulfills me, even if not my own, because I am involved…

And so on.

I am human – I am, by my nature, a social animal. I have to be involved. Selfishly, it serves me to stay connected; for when I connect to the humanity in you, I acknowledge my own humanity.

Ahh, doesn’t that feel nice?!

In happiness…

How Dare You Put Yourself First?!

It’s the end of a coaching conversation, and my client confesses, “I notice this whole conversation has been about me. Usually I’m working on everybody else and what they need. I like it… but I’m really uncomfortable.”

She’s in her mid-40’s and in all that time it’s never been about her. What she hears in her head is, “How dare you put yourself first?!”

That’s the conversation so many people have been trained to have with themselves over and again. The world’s told them over and over, “if you take care of you, you’re being selfish, and selfish is bad.”

Who are you to be happy? Hey, you’re a vibrant, alive human being. You deserve it just as much as anyone and everyone else.

And you’re the only one who doesn’t yet ‘get’ that!

Tiny Tips to increase Happiness

I was delivering a talk on Happiness.  When I asked people to consider, “what gets in the way of your happiness?” one man said, “Time.  I am so stressed and have so much to do, I don’t have time to do any of the stuff that makes me happy.”

OK, so let’s establish something: Happiness is not something you do, it’s something you are.  It’s not stuff, it’s how you feel after you do that “stuff.”  It’s something you carry inside of you.  It’s a feeling you can nurture and strengthen through practice.

And if time is an issue, here’s the good news: frequency (of practice) beats duration every time.  Let me explain.  Do you remember when you learned to type in high school?  Your teacher told you to practice 30 minutes daily.    Yikes!  Who has time?  Still, at the end of the semester here’s what happened.  The people who practiced every day typed faster and better than those who crammed in their practice on Sunday nights, even if they only did five minutes each day to the crammers’ several hours.

“What might help you, sir,” I suggested, “are what I call micro-practices; little practices that take just a few seconds each time and which can, literally, recalibrate your whole system when done regularly for 30 days (or forever, for that matter!).

Breathe into your deep belly.  Whenever you have a moment between meetings, sitting at a traffic light, shifting from one task to another, take 15 seconds (you can spare that!) to take two deep breaths, in through your nose and out thru your nose.  Notice how your body moves to calmer.

Express gratitude. Look people in the eye and say ‘Thank You.’  Keep a list of good things that happen around you during the day.

Appreciate what you did. Whenever you finish something — a phone call, a transaction on your desk, a batch of mail, a project, or a conversation — pause before you move on.  Take five seconds to give yourself credit for what you just accomplished, and notice that tiny piece of good feeling you hold around getting that thing done.  Let it soak in.  Then move on.

Offer praise. Compliment someone else on a job well done, or when they do you a favor.  The time you take to “fuel their tank” will also cause you to feel better about yourself.

Smile when you walk.  When ever you go from one place to another at work, put on an intentional smile.  Even if it’s fake, wear it for your walk.  Notice how your spirits lift as you go from one place to another.  (you might also notice a lot more people smiling back at you, which will feed a little positive emotion into your tank!)

Pay attention to how your “happiness” muscles get stronger when you use them a little bit.. little bit… little bit… every single day.