Happy Thanksgiving – Inventory Your Wealth

Happy Thanksgiving!

As The Executive Happiness Coach^® I especially love any holiday that carries a greeting of HAPPY in front of it.

You know, many people say that Happiness is the “ultimate currency.” So when we wish each other a “Happy Anything” we are, in a way, wishing for them a life that is wealthy on many levels.

In this time of crisis in which, uncertainty, worry, and fear seem everywhere, give yourself also the gift of hope. Eventually the crisis will pass, the transition will be history, the recession will fade to memory. My wish for you is that you take time during this 2008 Thanksgiving holiday, to inventory the wealth you possess that is independent of money:

Your Relationships
List the people who love you, and whom you love

Your Wisdom
Think about how much you know, and recognize what an asset you are

Your Communities
Write down all the groups of which you are a member – work, family, faith, civic, and even virtual/online

Your Faith
Consider the beliefs you hold; the things you believe in even if you cannot “prove” them

Your Health
Take a deep, deep breath and consider how fabulous it is to be alive (aches and pains and all!)

Your future
Regardless what’s happened till now, the rest of your life is yet unwritten, and you can change the story if you want to

Make time to express gratitude, on purpose. It’s good for you! Gratitude is one of a handful of emotions which create as much good feeling in the Giver as in the Receiver. So remember that when you say, “thanks!” you’re filling up someone else’s tank… as well as your own!

So HAPPY Thanksgiving. I am grateful that you are in my world – as a reader, as a client, as a colleague, as a friend, as a fellow traveler on Spaceship Earth.

In happiness, J

Happiness is a Warm Hat

We drove to South Bend to see Syracuse play Notre Dame this weekend.  While there we met up with our daughter and son-in-law, and his parents and his sister and her new husband.  Fun time!

It was cold.  We did a little tailgating, but no one really wanted to spend a lot of time out in a tundra-like parking lot.  The game was the big draw.  Like always, the atmosphere on the Notre Dame campus on a Football Weekend is nearly electric.  Although the focus was on football, a lot of people were also lauding the Women’s Soccer team, which had won in overtime the nite before to boost their record to 24-0-0 — WOW!

So, back to the cold. 24 degrees doesn’t sound that cold… until one has to be outside in that temperature for four or five hours.

And the temperature drops to 18 degrees.

And you are standing on solid ice because it snowed 6″ just before the game.

And your team loses in an embarrassing game filled with lost opportunities.

Did you know that 18 degrees Farenheit is -8 Celsius?  With windchill, that’s -17 degrees Celsius.

Well, despite the cold, we had a great time.  We were insulated with up to five layers of clothing — all of it green or navy, of course — and drank our share of hot cocoa served at 500 degrees (which is a trip and a half to drink when wearing mittens!).

And my head stayed warm under three wraps.

Happiness is a warm hat

Happiness is a wet dog

So, my wife and I are dogsitting for our “grand dog,” while my daughter and son-in-law are on a vacation in New York City. We see the dog (Heidi, a miniature black schnauzer) regularly, since we drop by their house every evening and take Heidi with us on our daily walk.  She’s a sweet, well-behaved, and incredibly well-trained dog.

Living with a dog, however, is very different from visiting with one.

With Heidi living at our house for the past few days, I am reminded of the many reasons why we no longer own a dog ourselves:

1. Dogs demand attention. Every 30 minutes or so she removes herself from her blanket and makes it quite clear that it is “time to give the dog a backrub.  NOW!”  It’s been interesting the past two workdays, as she comes out to my office, lays her head on my lap, and stares up at me.  Shooing her away does not work.  Only after I give her several minutes of attention will she shake herself off, look at me with satisfaction, and head back for a (yet another) nap.
2. Dogs watch everything you do.  Everything. It’s sort of creepy when she just sits and stares at me.  While I eat: staring.  When I brush my teeth: staring.  While I grade papers, write, or read the newspaper: staring.  It’s sort of like having a stalker, only smaller.
3. Dogs have their own agendas. Like, “I want to go out and smell stuff at 3AM” or “I love to snuffle around in decomposing leaves — you don’t mind if I bring them inside, do you?”
4. Dogs don’t wear boots outdoors. So when it’s raining, they bring mud samples inside.  And when it’s snowing, they like to collect several pounds of ice and bring it in to melt it on the linoleum floor, right where I stand in my socks.  Brrr!
5. Dogs don’t use toilets. This means we cannot leave the house for longer than 7 hours.  Well, this is not too much of a hardship for a few days, but I feel very restricted by that timeframe.  Our goldfish can go up to two days without us — much more convenient.
6. Dogs can’t open doors. So, you were thinking weekend, and sleeping in?  NOT!  This dog wants to head outside and then be fed — and let outside again — at 6AM, 7 days a week.  Bummer.
7. Wet dogs smell. Yep.  No matter how cute, a dog that’s been out in the rain exudes an odor like… well, a wet dog!

Maybe I’m being a bit harsh.  Heidi truly is a joy.  She’s small enough to sit on my lap, and is overall a very well-behaved dog.  While she may demand back rubs a bit often, her show of gratitude always warms my heart (dogs are great at being Happy!).  Plus — and this is a mystery — this dog almost never barks.  Truly!  Her orginal owner trained her well.  So she’s never disruptive while I’m on the phone, even when she’s trying to crawl up onto my chair while I’m typing.

Plus, I’m realizing that this training may serve me well for when we eventually have grandchildren.  Can you see the parallels? Grandchildren: demand attention, watch everything you do, have their own agendas, track in dirt, don’t use toilets, can’t open doors (we hope!), and when they’re wet… they smell. 

Do you believe in your right to burn your own money?

Should the government stop dumping money into a giant hole?

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/in_the_know_should_the_government

You decide this important issue (Video clip, 2 mins)

Life is good. Huh?

So, the buckle on my good leather briefcase broke, and while it’s getting fixed I’ve been using another smaller case I purchased from a Life Is Good store in the Chicago Midway airport. It’s actually an over-the-shoulder messenger bag, so when I’m walking around with it the bag hangs behind me.

I’ve been having lots of people say to me, “life’s good, eh?” or “so, life’s good for you?” in the past ten days, and I was feeling pleased that people are relating to my “happiness guy” theme. Then yesterday I was waiting in line for coffee when a gentleman behind me caught my eye and snarled, “what’s good about it?”

Huh? What are you talking about?

Turns out that the “life is good(r)” logo is embroidered nice and big on the three-inch wide strap that hangs down my back when I’m wearing the bag. Here I thought it was my personal, happy presence that was provoking all the comments.

Nope. It’s just the bag.

And funny thing — that same bag that caused most people to smile at me also caused that surly gentleman to snarl. Who am I, indeed, to be happy?! How dare I? I’m ruining his perfectly good funk, and before his morning caffeine!

Some people got a lot of nerve. Yep!

Gross National Happiness

I heard the other day about Bhutan’s new (young) king being crowned, and how his 52-year old father (my age, how funny!) had abdicated the throne and put his son on it in order to aid the country’s transition to a new age.  The king emeritus (or whatever they call him, now) created the concept of Gross National Happiness as a way to measure his country’s progress in more humanistic terms — not just in terms of dollars.

While conventional development models (like GNP, or gross national product) stress economic growth as the ultimate objective, the concept of GNH claims to be based on the premise that true development of human society takes place when material and spiritual development occur side by side to complement and reinforce each other. The four pillars of GNH are: the promotion of equitable and sustainable socio-economic development, preservation and promotion of cultural values, conservation of the natural environment, and establishment of good governance.

Bhutan is an oppressively poor country that has experienced oppressive government, as well.  To the old king’s credit, in addition to establishing GNH as his country’s success indicator, he is also pushing the country toward democracy — he established a parliament and gave up much of his power and converted his role to that of a constitutional monarch.  While instituting some brutal actions against foreigners in the country, and imposing strict (and often arbitrary) rules on things like dress code… he’s also pushed through societal reforms that have, over the past few decades, increased life expectancy by 20 years.  TWENTY YEARS!

How’s that for the power of Happiness?!

A colleague (thank you, Barbara Ropog, of The Tangram Edge) sent me several interesting links to more information on GNH

Article from the Taipei Times on the new king’s coronations ceremonies, demonstrating how much the younger generation will change that country:Bhutan’s new king aims for Happiness

More on the worldwide discussion of Gross National Happiness: http://www.grossinternationalhappiness.org/index.html

and a wonderful article on some of the advances this poor, landlocked country has made over the past 20 years, since the GNH entered the discussion:http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2008/03/bhutan/larmer-text

I’m thinking, Wow, how great would it be if our new American president and leaders put four Pillars of GNH near the top of America’s agenda?  Perhaps “…the pursuit of happiness” language in our Declaration of Independence would become more real than ever!

Email and Happiness

Email and Happiness. Hmmm.

More like Email VERSUS Happiness.

From where I sit today, I don’t see these two as being compatible. No matter how doggedly I seek to clear my Inbox, more messages flow in.  I often feel like I’m battling the mythical Hydra — each time I cut off a head, two more grow in it’s place.

One week ago I wrestled my Inbox down to 38 items, which for me is remarkable!  As I leave my office today, it sits at 234, and 75% of those require action/response.

Sigh.

OK, Jim.  Take a deep breath. It’s only email.  Let it go.  Go to your happy place.  Omm…..

Just whining.  Thanks for listening! 

P.S.  am I the only one who has a love/hate relationship with email??

Do you see yourself in others?

My oldest son attended the University of Notre Dame.  Justin was a true fan (as in “fanatic”) of Fighting Irish football.  He lived and died by their win/loss record, hosted a weekly campus radio show on the subject, and even dyed his hair kelly green one semester.  He dressed as a (6-foot tall) leprechaun for every home game, and in the midst of a student section filled with screaming fans, he so stood out from the crowd that he was twice named “fan of the game” and we got to see him on national television.

Sometimes we’d say to him, “Justin, d’ya think you’re maybe taking this whole thing a bit too seriously?  It’s only a game, ya know?”  His reaction to our suggestion that Notre Dame football was NOT the center of the Universe was, typically, “ARE YOU KIDDING?!”

We just let him be.  He was, after all, in college.

This year he’s living in Nashville and studying with a chef as he takes a year off before starting graduate school next year.  To keep expenses down, he linked up with five other guys to rent a house.  Those other five are all still in school, two of them in grad school themselves.  Saturdays are spent glued to one of the many flat screen TVs in the house, following college football.

This weekend Justin called home on Sunday to tell us a funny story.  One of his roommates (Joe) graduated from Tennessee State. During their game on Saturday, Justin observed, Joe was ‘over the edge’ — screaming at the screen, swearing at mistakes, jumping up and down, angry when Tennessee fell behind and jubilant when they scored.  And Justin had a huge insight.

“I suddenly realized ‘Ohmigod — that’s what I’m like when I’m watching a Notre Dame game!’  No wonder people are always telling me, ‘calm down.’  I’m a maniac!”

Yes.  And how interesting that you could not see that in yourself until you encountered someone just like you.

How often do we not recognize in ourselves when there’s a concern, yet we can so clearly see it in others?  I think that’s because people are mirrors, and they reflect back at us what we are unable to see otherwise.

Happiness is a New President

The party’s over, boys and girls.  Now, the real work begins.

You’ve got 77 days to come up with a plan to save the world.  For real.

Don’t try to make everybody happy.  Just do the right thing.  Please.

Use your new powers for the greatest good.

That will make me very happy.

Happiness Starts With You

A reflection for Election Day:

When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world.
I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation.
When I found I couldn’t change the nation, I began to focus on my town.
I couldn’t change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.

Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family.
My family and I could have made an impact on our town.
Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.”
~Rabbi Israel Salanter, Nineteenth Century Professor

While we all focus on casting ballots for the next US President, hoping he can “fix” our world and improve our lot, let’s remember that in the end, he’s just one person.  Even if we consider all our U.S. leaders — Executive, Legislative, and Judicial branches combined — they are only 555 people.  They can’t make anything happen until and unless ALL of us take on our share of responsibility.

Change you, change the world.

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