Employee Happiness Kit

<<Oh, this was too precious to pass up!  Jim>>

Memo from Management:

All employees will be required to look happy while at work.

Here is the new low cost, company approved solution
to cope with multiple priorities and assignments!

Each employee will be supplied 2 paper clips and rubber bands. (See Fig 1.)

Fig 1.

Assemble items as shown in Fig 2.

Fig 2.

Apply as shown in Fig 3.

Fig 3.

Enjoy your day.
This new office equipment will help you to reach
the end of a productive work day with a smile on your face!

Cheers!
The Management

Yes And, Happiness, and Leadership

Are you familiar with the concept, from improv theater, of “yes, and…”?  It’s a skill that is useful in leadership and in life.  It helps if you’re on stage giving a presentation to 100 people, and it helps when you are in conversation with one person.  I teach this concept in my communication training and my coaching.

Last week my friend and creativity colleague, Michelle James, wrote of the concept in an article entitled Accepting versus Agreeing.  I loved the distinction she created, and am reprinting a portion of it here, as I believe Acceptance is a fundamental emotion related to Happiness — if I can accept what is, I have greater capacity to experience happiness even when things are not going exactly as I wish they would.

You can read Michelle’s entire newsletter at CreativeEmergence.com

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Accepting versus Agreeing

One of the core principles of improvisational theater is “Yes And” - which means accepting (the YES) whatever is given (called “offers”) and adding a new piece of information (the AND). It is the cornerstone of improv, and that which help improvisers keep the creativity going in the face of the unknown - with no plans, scripts or strategies.

When I bring Applied Improv principles and practices to organizations, inevitably someone says, “But what if you really DON’T agree with the idea that is offered? Some ideas are simply not good ideas.” A valid case.

There are points I would like to address to that regard: first, the practice of “Yes-Anding” as a creativity technique is used more in the divergence (expanding and generating) part of the creative process. Among a host of other things, yes-anding helps open up the “playing field” for more possibilities and novel connections that otherwise would never have been engaged by the conventional approach of finding out all the reasons an idea will not work. Once you get into the convergence (discerning and focusing) part of the creative process, then you begin to use the “no’s” as appropriate to discern what will and will not work based upon the objectives and the parameters of your focus.

The second point is more subtle. It is the difference between accepting the “offer” and agreeing with it. In improv, it does not matter what you personally think about the offer - or the person offering it - you accept it. You may disagree, but you still accept it and add to it. By doing so, you are not saying, “I love your idea!” Instead, you are engaging in the experiment of taking a seed idea and creating forth something new with it. In doing so, more often than not, an entirely unexpected direction will emerge that is better than anyone could have imagined. With clear intention of purpose, a “bad idea” that is accepted and “anded” can transform into a spot-on relevant innovation just a few “ands” later. To an improviser, all offers are gifts.

Perhaps more significantly, the art of acceptance is profound when practiced with groups and work teams. Accepting what someone is saying creates a feeling of safety. Once the ground of safety is established, members of the group will allow themselves to take more creative risks, to experiment more, to think more expansively…which leads to more novel and workable ideas. You don’t have to agree with someone’s point of view to honor that it is theirs. The payoff: you get more flow from the creative well. In a time when innovation is the big buzzword, the practice of accepting - regardless of agreeing - is one more tool for the creative toolbox.

Advice for Happier Performance Appraisals

This is a busy season for Performance Appraisal (PA) discussions, and this topic’s come up with several clients recently.  Anxiety seems to be the most common emotion associated with PAs, both on the part of the receiver and the writer/manager.

A little anxiety running up to the conversation can be helpful  — it will keep you alert and engaged during all the discussions.  Once the conversation starts, however, you don’t want to be trying to speak and listen from a body of anxiety.  Your primary filter in anxiety (a low grade version of fear) is, “This person may be wanting to do me harm, so I must be vigilant.”  How can anyone be a good listener when THAT conversation is going on inside one’s head, and the body is sitting on the edge of a fight/flight/freeze response?

So I offer two pieces of advice, one for you if you are a manager/writer of the review, and one for if you are the subject of a PA (and many of you find yourself in both roles, I’m sure!).   This comes out of my personal experience — 20 years of leading over 400 performance review conversations, during which time I made my share of mistakes and learned a whole heck of a lot of great ways to create a positive conversation even when the news is difficult:

For the manager/writer

Whether you are delivering good or bad news, praise or corrective steering advice, always respect the PERSON.  You may disagree w/ their opinion; don’t be disagreeable.  You may think your assessment is superior to theirs; don’t forget to listen, hear them out, even as you choose to disagree with their assessment. In every way possible, seek to make it a a conversation/dialogue rather than a monologue.

When you find your emotions rising up (anger, anxiety, irritation) remember to sit back, take a deep breathe, and let your body settle down before you continue.  As the saying goes, “People will forget what you say but they will never forget how you made them feel.”

For the receiver of feedback

Remember that you are human, and that you are not perfect.  No, your boss is not perfect, either, but that’s not point.  The business purpose of Performance Appraisal is to assess contribution to the business and to grow capacity for the future.  It’s a business tool, not a massage.

If you arrive in a PA conversation believing that the purpose of the exercise is to feed your ego, you will be disappointed.  If, however, you arrive with an eagerness to talk about what more you can do to learn, improve, grow, and otherwise increase your value to the company, you’re far more likely to “hear” any critical feedback as a GIFT to you.  After all, if all anyone shares with you is praise, you’ll miss the opportunity to grow!

Even if your manager does a clumsy job of delivering feedback (and a lot of them do), try to get past their delivery to the nuggets of helpful information.   It’s YOUR responsibility, after all, to build your skills and your career.

OH, and the same advice to you about breathing:  When you find your emotions rising up (anger, anxiety, defensiveness) remember to sit back, take a deep breathe, and let your body settle down before you continue.  And remember:  It may be personal, but that doesn’t mean you have to take it personally. 

I hope this is helpful for your discussions!

Chocolate Speaks Louder Than Words

So, I get a package in the mail from a Happiness Coaching client.   No idea what’s in it.  I open the box and… it’s full of Chocolate!  A RAINBOW of Lake Champlain chocolates.

The coolest part:  The logo on the side of the bars.  I dunno if you can see it on your screen — it reads, “Let Chocolate Change Your World”

No note.

Chocolate, you see, speaks louder than words! 

An Exhortation

I recently read of a poll which asked, “do you believe that Americans today still respond to the call John F Kennedy made in his 1961 inaugural speech, ‘Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country’?”  23% said Yes, 70% said no.  Hmm.

In a few hours our new President will issue his own exhortation, a call to action for a new millennium.  The dictionary defines Exhortation as,a communication intended to urge or persuade the recipients to take some action.

What action will that be, I wonder?  How will I respond?  How will this country respond?  The problems facing our nation are far too large for one person, or one institution to address.  Yet if we are ALL willing to participate, amazing things are possible.

San Francisco composer (and Cleveland native) David Conte was so inspired by the closing paragraphs of Barack Obama’s acceptance speech on election nite that he pulled key phrases into a song that will have its world debut at today’s inauguration ceremony.  Many believe that this song, An Exhortation, captures the essence of Obama’s own call to action.

America, we have come so far.
We have seen so much.
But there is so much more to do.

Let us ask ourselves:
If our children should live to see
The next century
What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call.
This is our time
To reaffirm that fundamental truth
That out of many, we are one;
That while we breathe, we hope;
And where we are met with doubt,
We will respond with that timeless creed
That sums up the spirit of a people:

Yes We Can.

The key word, here, is WE. Not I can, or They can.  We.  We are all in this together, and if we wait for someone else to save us, we will wait a long time.  If this new president can inspire people to participate and to actively become part of the solution, I believe anything is possible.

That is my hope, on Inauguration Day 2009.

Dare to Dream

I came across this quote today:

“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible.”
– T. E. Lawrence (of Arabia)

The quote put me in mind of Dr Martin Luther King, whose day we celebrate today… and of Barack Obama, our incoming President, who tomorrow takes office amid many dreams of possibility and hope.

I hope and pray that our new President — with all his optimism and his flaws and his humanness — dreams with his eyes wide open. And perhaps he can teach this country, all beaten down and glum, to dream again, too.

My god, we so need leaders who dare to dream… and who dare to lead!

Happiness and the Economy

In early December, the American Psychological Association reported that 80% of Americans feel stressed by the economy, 60% feel angry about it, and 52% are having trouble sleeping (see CNN article, here).

Yikes! Sleep-deprived, angry, stressed out… these are not descriptors normally associated with happiness, are they?!  The sad thing about this reality is how many people believe they can’t do anything about their mood.  They truly believe that the current chaos is MAKING them crazy.  They say, “I can’t sleep at night because I’m too worried,” without understanding that worry is a choice.  They are choosing to spend all their energy focused on what could/might go wrong, and they find evidence to support their belief every time they open the paper or turn on the news.

You don’t have to be a victim.

You can handle a lot, when you’re not stretched so thin you’re about to break.  Take action to reduce your normal stressors as much as possible so that you have the capacity to deal with the ocean of negative emotion that seems to washing up to your doorstep.

To Reduce Stress:

Take care of yourself, which includes healthy eating, sleeping, exercising, and maintaining structure in your daily activities.

Connect with friends and other people who you enjoy and who understand you. Getting together with others doesn’t make troubles disappear, but you’ll be surprised how much easier they are to live with when you know everyone is dealing with the same stuff. You are not alone.

Focus on what you CAN do now to make life better, rather than on what’s not possible right now.

Reach out to other people in need; it’s satisfying and puts your own problems in perspective.

Take a break. Most of us can juggle a lot of balls… but not all the time!  Don’t deceive yourself into putting in more hours at work or believing that you can’t enjoy your weekend time.  Even the lightest burden feels like a ton when you carry it 24 hours a day.

Count your blessings: find one thing every day — no matter how small — for which you are grateful.

Just as you can make yourself crazy… you can also make yourself calm and enjoy moments of happiness in the midst of a crazy time.

Now, take a deep breathe.  Ahhhhh.  Feels good, right?  Do it again, then go back to work with a teensy bit of calm…

Happy-Making With Wordle!

I came across an incredibly fun and visually creative Web 2.0 site today: www.wordle.net. It brought a smile to my face, and I decided to share!

You link to or paste in text (e.g. from a blog, article, whatever) and the site creates a Tag Cloud (visual word cluster — such as you see at this blog site on the lower right, where higher frequency words appear larger, etc)

The Twist that make this site different from “competitor” sites: You can play with orientation (vertical, horizontal, or every which way), the font, the color, and even the language!   Here’s what emerged when I pasted in my 13 Principles of Happiness:

See it at the Source: www.wordle.net

Way cool, eh?!  I’m very visual, so creativity of this sort appeals to me in many ways.  How might I use something like this?  Post an announcement.  Give visual oomph to verbal content.  Make a point in a different way.  Write Visual Poetry ala ee cummings.  Create a PowerPoint slide that’s FAR from boring.

Or maybe, just maybe… for FUN!  For the pure pleasure of it.  We gotta make our own Happiness!

Be In Joy

What is Joy?  Why do we seek it?  This short essay addresses the nature of joy, the different faces of joy, and the benefits of living in in that emotional state:

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Be in Joy

Joy is the elixir for all things. Bring more joy into your tasks. When you radiate a vibration of joy, however mild, there is a shift in response within your body that is reflected in the response of your reality.

It can be an easy as a smile on your face as you do one of your many tasks. This will create a different message to your body and you will shift the usual stress responses to your work and busyness into a more conscious relaxed state of mind/heart.

Become aware of the stages or subtle frequencies of the emotional vibration you label joy. There is ecstasy, rapture, bliss, jubilation, delight, happiness, cheer, gladness, and pleasure. Practice the different frequencies of joy.

Be delighted. Celebrate the small wonders all around you. Rejoice with your breath. Smile for no reason, just smile into the moment. Allow new face muscles to be discovered as you smile into your concerns and worries.

Find cause to laugh, giggle, or radiate cheerfulness, practice being light-hearted, carefree, and elated about the miracles in your life or the miracles of the moment. Be happy, be bright, rejoice and enjoy. Be in Joy.

The skill of maintaining an attitude and frequency of joy is a most important skill. Imagine that you have a joy muscle and you have not exercised it enough. You need to stretch it, expand it and fully express it. Allow joy in any form to proceed you.

Smile as you answer the phone, make a meal, and pay your bills. Smile into the mirror each time you look at your image, smile at your reflection. Smile as you are falling asleep at night. Practice smiling even while you are thinking.

Place your awareness in your heart when you smile. This is a powerful alchemical practice. The simple act of smiling from your heart will attract more joy, bliss, and happiness into your life.

The physical tasks will flow easier, your body will respond by being relaxed with less stress. The worries will evaporate; the tasks will be completed with ease and grace. Joy will clear the way for incredible miracles and expansion. This is a wonderful skill to practice and use that will enhance everything in your life.

The energy field that radiates from joy will transform any experience, activity, outcome or results. Your joy will be like a healing balm to yourself and others in your life. Practice your joy in all is wondrous forms.

Copyright © Peggy Black, Transducer, Scribe and Witness. All rights reserved.
Share freely, pass along, stay in your joy, gratitude and appreciation.

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Today’s post is a direct lift from a website that provided me a big shot of inspiration today.  The author gives permission on her website to distribute freely — which is often the case with people who live in Abundance.  The URL is: http://www.holistic-therapies.ca/newsletter/newsdetail.php?newsid=51

Life Includes Death

I learned just minutes ago that a good friend died yesterday.

She was over a decade younger than me, and we had little in common except for our very broad and eclectic interests, an intense interest in curiosity about how people behave and a shared sense of (very dry) humor.  And that was enough.

I first met Melissa in 1996, when I was seeking an HRIS (human resources information system) project manager.  She was my first Generation X hire: cynical about corporate America, fiercely independent, adamant about work/life balance… and incredibly tech-savvy.

She was a lifelong learner — she possessed at least two Masters Degrees at the time, and in her short career she’d already built, run, and sold her own tech company.  She was smart, creative, and knew about 100 times more than I did about technology.  I was scared of her.  And I desperately needed someone like her on my team.  So we began a dance, she and I.

I’ve actually told stories about Melissa on many a stage when speaking about the challenges of leadership and the issues of conflict between generational values.  Here’s my favorite:  She’d been on the job just a couple of weeks at this fairly conservative company.  The norm was that everyone worked 8:30 till 5.  Period.  All parties had to be present during the standard work hours.  And into my office walks Melissa, the new “kid.”

“These hours just are not working for me,” she says.  “I can’t get up this early!”  I’m a mid-generation Baby Boomer, nose to the grindstone and all, and I was working for a boss who believed in form over substance.  So what she was saying to me was… foreign.  She was hitting me with something new: an employee who valued life balance AND who had the guts to speak up about it!  I remember being incredibly stressed.

Let’s keep it short, tho.  I took a couple more weeks to watch how she worked.  She had a computer at home, and had figured out how to tie in to the systems from home (remember — this was 13 years ago, before Wi-fi and broadband) and was sending me emails and project updates at 2AM on Saturday or midnite on Wednesday.  Clearly, she was working hard, just not on what we considered a Traditional schedule.

I knew my boss would never support an off-shift schedule (tho he later came around…).  So we quietly shifted her hours so she didn’t have to arrive till 10:30.  In exchange, she had to take the West Coast calls that used to go in to voicemail.  In no time at all, our Seattle division fell in love with her, and by the time my boss found out, she had proven beyond all doubt her value to the company.

Melissa challenged me on many, many levels.  She would listen to what I said, but then argue with me.  She proposed radically different ideas that made my head hurt.  And over the course of a couple years, she helped me become a much better leader.  She forced me to become a better team player, a better collaborator, and a better negotiator.  She also modeled a better approach to Life Balance  than I’d seen before and taught me a TON about technology.  (She is also partly responsible for my subsequent addiction to doing all my shopping on Amazon.com).

After I left the company to start my own firm, we stayed in touch via email several times a month for the past ten years, and occasionally I talked her into leaving the office so I could buy her lunch.  A few months ago she put out a note about taking a medical leave of absence, and then… disappeared.

Two weeks ago I received a holiday card from her with the following note:

“Life kinda exploded & I got a bit overwhelmed, so I’m sorry if it seems like I disappeared from the face of the earth.  Know, though, that I carry with me your friendship, and it has meant the world to me.  Have a wonderful Christmas and a great 2009.”

I remember that the message gave me an odd feeling… what did she mean?  Where was she going?

On Monday, I sent her a note about getting together for lunch later in the month.  I guess it’s a note she never read.

Today a mutual friend called to let me know that Melissa Joyce died suddenly yesterday.  Too young.

I am sad, right now, thinking about how much I’ll miss her annual (and always unpredictable) contributions to my Summer Reading List.  Who do I have, now, to introduce me to eccentric websites and odd British authors?  Who will have the chutzpah to put me in my place when I’m being jerky?  What will I do with all the cat jokes I used to send to Melissa? Sigh…

Death, of course, is a part of life.  I’m not talking about life after death… I’m talking about how, for those of us who remain behind, death is a part of what we must endure.  People live, people die.  Many people I’ve known and loved are no longer with us, so we work hard to keep their memories alive.

I choose to remember the happy ones, the memories that will make me smile.

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