Comments on: Life Includes Death

By: jsmith

jsmith — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 02:03:10 +0000

Lisa, Sherry, and Kathy: your beautiful comments remind me of the very thing that led me to write this post — that Life includes death.
When we notice the hole in our heart from a loss, that is in many ways a confirmation that we are, in that moment, very much alive. When we savor a memory, we are being uniquely human, since we are the only species on earth that can imagine something that is past. And when we feel sadness as well as gratitude in the same breath, as you did Kathy, we are truly experiencing the emotional stew that is being alive.
Thank you, all for your comments and for your kindness. J

By: Kathy Fallon

Kathy Fallon — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 22:52:38 +0000

I too knew Melissa Joyce but in a different way. She was my best friend of 33 years. We grew up together, her friendship and the life difficulties and the good times we shared have shaped me into the person I am today. I have her to thank for this. No matter what was going on in each of our lives somehow we always made it a point to keep in touch. Through the death of my Mom to the death of her parents, through divorces broken relationships, through good times and bad the one constat through it all was my friendship with Melissa. Even during the times when life got in the way and we didn’t see each other or talk to each other as often as we liked, it nevere mattered we always picked up exactly where we left off. It was as though those gaps never existed.

There is a hole in my heart since she has gone and on Tuesday I will meet with her family and friends to say our good byes. Melissa was the sister I never had and I will grieve with her family as they have always made me feel like part of the family.

I know that Melissa is with her parents and my Mom as well, she is now my guardian angel who will be watvhing out from me in her righful plave in heaven.

By: Sherry

Sherry — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 19:41:46 +0000

Jim

So sorry for your loss. Death is indeed a part of life, but it is always a shock and always painful. It leaves a hole.
A piece of her is already living on in you as you push yourself to become more wired and tech savvy. Clearly she made a difference in your life, and you are spreading that influence to those you meet.
May memories of here bring a smile to your face.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 02:25:35 +0000

Oh Jim, I’m so sorry for your loss. Melissa was clearly a remarkable woman who touched your life in a significant way. Your words here are a wonderful tribute to her and speak volumes about her.

Her influence will live on in your annual summer reading lists. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I know the “ecletic” nature of the books on the past few lists have inspired me to read books by authors I’d never heard of previously. And given me the courage/freedom to branch out and seek out authors beyond even the new ones on the SRLs. Before finding your lists I never knew the Man Booker Prize existed. And now I try to read as many of the winners and “short list” winners as possible each year. What a remarkable wealth of stories I’ve been able to expirence!

The influence Melissa had on your reading choices has influenced countless readers–including me. Perhaps you could include in future SRL’s a “Melissa Joyce” category for books you find that she would have really enjoyed as a way to honor her and share her life and love of reading with others.

Thank you for sharing Melissa’s influence on your life with us. May you carry her memory and influence with you always.

By: jsmith

jsmith — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 20:09:20 +0000

Andrea, thanks for the lovely idea about bringing a part of a departed friend’s “being” in to my own life.

And how appropriate that you included info about a book list here — as Melissa (a voracious reader) is partly responsible for the eclectic nature of my own reading habits today!

In happiness, J

By: Andrea

Andrea — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 12:52:04 +0000

Hi Jim,

Thank you for writing about Melissa, she’s a fabulous and gutsy woman

When I’ve lost someone dear to me, I change my life in some way that reminds me of how they chose to live. Like when I began treasuring my friendships (versus just “having” friendships), after I lost a friend to cancer. That friend, Lan, treasured and took care of his friendships, and so that became part of who I am.

On a more practical note, I just posted some (small) reviews of some books I read in 2008, on my blog http://www.sharpeningmymarketingedge. You might enjoy reading ‘em.

Sending you hugs, Andrea

By: jsmith

jsmith — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 23:28:25 +0000

Tom, you’re not allowed to post comment that bring tears to my eyes.

But thanks for doing so. That’s beautiful! J

By: Tom Dankowski

Tom Dankowski — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 22:43:47 +0000

I heard this on Craig Ferguson’s show after his mother died and was so impressed by its beauty and meaning. It is by Van Dyke and I share it with you in your moment of sorrow.
A Parable of Immortality
by Henry Van Dyke
I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze
and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength,
and I stand and watch until at last she hangs
like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky come down to mingle with each other.
Then someone at my side says,
” There she goes! ”

Gone where?

Gone from my sight . . . that is all.

She is just as large in mast and hull and spar
as she was when she left my side
and just as able to bear her load of living freight
to the place of destination.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

And just at the moment
when someone at my side says,
” There she goes! ”
there are other eyes watching her coming . . .
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout . . .

” Here she comes! “