The Point is to Live the Question
At a recent coaching conference, a wise colleague shared a very powerful practice: the 10-Year Question.
In coaching, questions are the primary tool: the probe, the lever, the dynamite that can explode a story, the key to unlocking awareness. What sort of question, I thought, could take ten years to answer? That would be a powerful question, indeed!
“So,” we asked eagerly, pencils poised above our notepads and journals, “what is the 10-Year Question?”
Fact is, a question that powerful does not come from the coach, it comes from the client. Here’s the question I can ask as a coach: “what is a question that is so big that it will take you 10 years — or more — to completely answer it?”
Are you getting it, now? It’s YOUR question. It’s the question you have not dared to ask yourself. It’s the deep question that you’ve probably ignored in the busy-ness of getting things done. It’s the question that does not have a clear answer. Indeed, it may not have any answer.
What is point of asking a question that does not have an answer? Practice. practice holding the question and notice how the question affects everything you do — the decisions you make, the paths you take, the conversations you find most compelling, the things you become curious about, the part of you that choose to explore.
I met a friend for lunch; I gave her the 10-year question as a “gift” and she sent me a lovely magnet with the following quote, which eloquently captures the spirit and power of a 10-year Question:
“I beg you…to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms of books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer…”
~Rainer Maria Rilke (German poet, 1875-1926)
So, what’s YOUR 10-year question? And what will happen when and if you have the courage to LIVE that question? I”m still working on mine….
Jim’s Dark Chocolate Peppermint Fudge
By popular demand:
Jim’s Dark Chocolate Peppermint Fudge
Making the Fudge
Put 4-5 candy canes into a plastic bag. Bang with a hammer till in small pieces. Set aside.
In non-stick saucepan, mix the following over low/med heat:
- 1 lb bag confectioner’s sugar
- ½ cup powdered cocoa – Hershey’s Special Dark is wonderful. If you can’t get Hershey’s try to use dark chocolate, dutch process cocoa
- 6 Tablespoons butter (3./4 of a stick — margarine also works)
- 4 Tbl milk
- 1 teaspoon vanilla
- ¼ tsp salt
Heat over low/medium heat, stirring constantly until JUST starts to boil. Mixture will be dark and silky.
Remove from heat. Pour in crushed candy canes. Fold into mixture, and immediately pour into a buttered 9×9 inch pan. Let cool, then refrigerate a couple hours. Once set, can remove from fridge.
Storing the Fudge
Remove and cut into 1 X 1” squares. It’s very rich. Keep in sealed container. Hide from strangers. Maybe even hide it from yourself, as you’ll find yourself eating a piece every time you walk thru the kitchen…..
Eating the Fudge
Oh, sure, you can just pop a square of fudge in your mouth, chew and swallow. But where’s the joy in that?! Here are my favorite ways to enjoy it:
- Take a single square of the fudge, and bite it in half. Let the fudge lay on your tongue. As it melts, press it up against the roof of your mouth and let your tongue bathe in the sugary-grainy smooth chocolatey-ness of it. Close your eyes and breathe in the wonderful, chocolately sensuality of the fudge. Be one with the fudge. Ommmmm.
- Sit down with a steaming cup of hot coffee, freshly brewed (I make mine strong, with a french press). Sip of coffee, pop fudge into warm mouth. As the fudge melts, sip gently on the coffee and let the coffee/chocolate combo swirl smoothly down your throat. Do not try to speak — it will ruin the moment.
- Try it with a short mug of Trader Joe’s Dark Sipping Chocolate. Follow same process as with coffee, but be warned — this option is not for the weak! You must have a strong tolerance for dark chocolate-ness. Have a glass of ice water nearby, in case someone needs to toss on you to bring you out of your ecstasy.
Enjoy the guilty pleasure!
