In the workplace: Focus on the Vital Few

November 29, 2010 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: In the workplace, Leadership 

If you’re like many people, you expect a lot – of self and others – on the job.  How much of the stress you experience comes from trying to juggle too many roles, goals, and projects simultaneously?

While you may have a dozen or more items on your project list, remember that the maximum most people can juggle well is five to seven priorities. (Yes, you can pretend to carry more, but the reality is that the more complexity you hold the less effective you become).

From your long list, identify the top three to four then focus all your energy on those vital few priorities.  When one is completed, pull another up to the top, but try to never hold more than four at a time. You will find that you get more done (and at a higher quality) by working on ONLY four priorities at a time than you did when you tried to juggle ten or twelve.

Why is this true?  It’s a lesson from basic physics: when you eliminate the friction – i.e. resistance, discontinuity, resource and schedule conflicts – between those multiple simultaneous priorities, the energy that used to go into unproductive juggling now goes into DOING.

An Exercise for the Workplace

Reach out to an associate (peer or direct report) who appears overwhelmed. Put yourself in the place of a coach, and ask:  “What would you be able to accomplish tomorrow if you only had to worry about ONE THING?”  Draw out an answer, then help them structure the next day around that single focus and protect them from distractions.

This may not be a drill you can do often; yet you will be amazed at the payback from your efforts.  For people who are feeling stuck and overwhelmed, even a single day of feeling productive can help them renew hope and reconnect to their work.

Remember: Leadership is not about a title. The most effective leaders are those who can cut through the clutter and crap to focus on what is most important.  Anyone can be a leader who can help others Simplify and focus so that more of what matters is what gets done!

Gratitude: You already know how to do this!

November 22, 2010 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Practicing Happiness, Relationships 

As you do your final preparation for Thanksgiving, remember that this is, in the end, a holiday about giving thanks and offering gratitude.

Some people find it awkward to express their gratitude.  That discomfort comes from living in a world that has programmed us into thinking it’s all about me, me, me and stuff, stuff, stuff.I came across this quote recently, and offer it to you as a reminder that, once you strip away all your “programming” from marketing and advertising, you are one of the most grateful creatures on the earth.

We are born helpless infants, creatures of pure need with little resource to give, yet we are fed, we are protected, we are clothed and held and soothed, without having done anything to deserve it, without offering anything in exchange. This experience, common to everyone who has made it past childhood, informs our deepest spiritual intuitions. Our default state is gratitude: it is the truth of our existence.

Charles Eisenstein, contemporary philosopher, author of The Ascent of Humanity

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.  In happiness, Jim

Reduce Your Holiday Stress: Simplify!

November 19, 2010 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Everyday Happiness, Happiness Tips 

We Create Our Own Stress

Do you ever find yourself thinking: “I have too much to do — I feel overwhelmed!?” How we are is a result of choices we make and the way we surround ourselves with stuff and challenges.  Sometimes our choices can leave us busy and full — yet unhappy.  That’s when we need to start dropping what does not serve us.

Happiness Principle #12 says:

SIMPLIFY.  Automate, delegate, or eliminate tasks or goals that complicate your life.  Being content with simpler pleasures increases your opportunity for awe.

Woven through many of the Principles of Happiness is a common thread I call “eliminate friction.” Friction – as you learned in fifth-grade science class — is resistance to motion.  Friction slows things down by removing energy.  A rocket flying through the vacuum of space will move freely, but if it strays near a planet it gets caught in gravitational pull or the resisting force of atmosphere.  The larger the rocket, the more friction it encounters.  Eventually, friction will cause it to burn away until all motion ceases.

While the example is physical, it describes what friction does to you and your happiness. Think about the things that complicate your life – tasks, goals, relationships, commitments, and expectations (and email!).  How many of those feel like appendages on the rocket, splaying out in all directions to catch the atmospheric resistance and slow you down?

To Simplify is not necessarily about giving up goals or possessions or busy schedules, but rather a reminder to keep what we have and what we do in perspective. Simplify is about striving to remove the clutter in our lives in order to concentrate our energies toward those things that really matter.

On another level, Simplify is a suggestion to avoid over-commitment as a lifestyle. When we surround ourselves with all the best and the newest, or try too hard to keep everyone else happy, we actually narrow our options for experiencing our own happiness.  When we live a simple life, we increase our opportunity for awe.

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” –Confucius

Start Planning Now for a Less-Stress Year

As you race toward the start of the busy holiday season and year end activities, don’t let the convergence of work, family demands, holiday gatherings, cooking, cleaning, and shopping push you over the edge into the Dark Pit of Stress.  Start planning now to leave space to enjoy simple conversation and the best of what this time of year has to offer.

Here are some steps you might take to Simplify for a less-stress year-end:

  • Schedule “Nothing” Time. Establish time in your calendar to do nothing.  Learn how to be at ease in solitude, silence, and stillness.  Realize you don’t need all that “noise” around you to feel content – plus a little downtime will give you space to recharge your batteries.
  • Streamline Your Goals. We typically get 80% of the impact from 20% of our goals.  Line up your personal goals and identify the handful that will provide you the most return on your investment of time.  A simplified focus will increase your output and creativity while reducing your stress.
  • Let Something Go. You may already feel some dread building up in you over your holiday chores.  Consider cutting a few things off your list this year through simplifying.  Last year I decided to simplify our outside decorations, and instead of spending hours stringing lights I opted for 10 minutes arranging three red and green spotlights to light the house.  Imagine my surprise when our neighbor across the street took a photo of our simply lit home after a snowfall, then used it in his holiday greeting!
  • Spread It Out.  Cook, clean, prep, or celebrate over several days instead of all at once.  One of the things I most DISliked about the holidays was the way everything seemed to happen at once, raising stress levels at a time when we’re “supposed” to be having fun.  One of my least favorite “chores” was the annual house/tree decoration marathon: by the end of a very long day we’d all be crabby and tired.  Five years ago I experimented with starting earlier, bringing out from storage just one box of “stuff” at a time.  Now we do a little decorating every few days over weeks instead of hours, and it turns out to be a lot more fun!
  • Ask for Help. Many of you live in the Story that if you take care of everything, people will admire you (or if you don’t get it perfect, people will assess you as inadequate).  But the truth is that most people will help you if you ask, and no one will think less of you.  And if you ask each person who’s coming to dinner to bring a dish, you may even discover a few new recipes to enjoy!
  • Say No. The most powerful way to Simplify is to simply say No to something you really do not want to do.  Note: it may take courage to push back against someone who says, “You have to do that.”  I promise you, however, that you will survive skipping the occasional invitation, and the world will keep turning on its axis even if you don’t bake those holiday treats that your family has been making since 1952.

“Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone.  The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.” –Lin Yuta

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The 13 Principles of Happiness can help you plan for more year-end moments of calm and happiness.  Visit http://www.theexecutivehappinesscoach.com/happiness/philosophies.cfm, to download a colorful 1-page PDF Poster.  Post it on your workplace wall or your fridge at home, and use them as a reminder to Choose Happiness.

What would you get on your tattoo?

November 16, 2010 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Humor, Meaning 

Last week one of my clients confessed to me that, “I’m thinking of getting a tattoo.” I was amused for a moment, as this client is a high-powered top executive with a very conservative organization– and who has teenagers in the house.

The conversation continued, “I’ve always loved the Celtic symbol for Balance, and now that I’ve made such great progress toward living in balance much of the time, it would be a great reminder for me.”  OK, that made sense.  Then came a question that really caught me off guard:

“What would you get on your tattoo?”

At first, I recoiled from the question.  I hold a lot of assessments about tattoos.  Sometimes I think they are attractive (some are works of art!), sometimes meaningful (2 of my children got a guardian angel tattoo identical to the one worn by their deceased sister), and frequently incomprehensible (d’ya really think that huge gothic skull on the side of your neck is attractive?!).  But never, never for me.

Still,the question reminded me of an exercise in which I participated a few years ago.  The facilitator asked the question, “if you were get a tattoo — which is permanent and forever — what would it be, and where on your body?”  I declared that I would tattoo the eight symbols I write every day in my journal, that represent my eight core values:

Happiness, Love, Health, Creativity, Learning, Authenticity, Spirituality, and Peace.

As for where on my body… I think my core values would need to be where I would see them every day, so perhaps on my upper arm or inside of my forearm.

If I had to go really simple, I might instead opt for the Yin Yang symbol, which for me represents balance and, on many levels, the truth about life — light and darkness, good/evil, life/work, etc.

So, what would you get on YOUR tattoo?