Do We Know What We Want?
This blog post is courtesy my Marketing Coach, Robert Middleton — and he, in turn, takes part of it from Lawrence J. Peter’s book, “The Peter Pyramid.”
“We are a strange people. We spend our lives doing things we detest, to make money for things we don’t need, to impress people we don’t like. We never want to be doing what we’re doing. When we eat, we read; when we watch TV, we eat; when we drive, we listen to music; when we listen to music, we work around the house. When we want to be with friends, we go to a noisy restaurant; when we want to party, we spend the evening trying to converse.”
This was written back in 1986 and since then, things have only gotten worse. When we’re on the phone, we’re checking our email; when we watch TV we surf the web; when we’re on the web, we watch Youtube. And when we do practically anything else we’re on our cell phones.
It’s no wonder people are so stressed and overwhelmed. Do we even know what it means to do one thing at a time with full attention? But if we don’t have attention, we are missing life. Attention is life.
Jim’s addendum
We really can’t blame technology for our inability/unwillingness to focus. Multi-tasking existed before computers.
The inability to manage stress is one of the top 4 biggest contributors to chronic illness (three of the top ten most-prescribed drugs are anti-depressants!). Stress is self-made, and one of the common stories we make up to fuel our stress is that we MUST pay attention to multiple, simultaneous things and that we must get EVERYTHING done.
Giving just ONE thing our full attention is called Mindfulness. When we are mindful, we slow down. We become more present to the one thing, the one task, or the one person in front of us. Mindfulness slows down our brain & our body, and creates a space for us to calm down and breath easier.
But to experience mindfulness, we must first give ourselves permission to Stop. Slow Down. Focus on Just One Thing.
We say we can’t. So I repeat Robert’s question: Do we really know what we want?
Stress: I can’t stop thinking about this!
A few weeks ago I learned about what the healthcare community refers to as The Big Four. These are the four behavioral concerns that drive cause and thus Cost in the healthcare system, and which lie at the heart of Wellness.
The Top Four Drivers of Chronic Disease and Healthcare Cost in the US
1. Food choices and Portion size
2. Tobacco
3. Physical Inactivity
4. Stress
The statistics, from a study conducted by the Cleveland Clinic and supported by a meta-study of Global Medical Trends conducted by Towers Watson, show that:
- Poor employee health habits is the leading factor driving medical cost in the US (and it’s the lowest factor globally!)
- 75% of Chronic Disease in the US is driven or aggravated by combinations of these four factors
and Chronic Disease accounts for: - 81% of hospital stays
- 91% of prescription drugs, and
- 76% of Office Visits
Now, I’m not a nutritionist, tobacco activist, or personal trainer/physical therapist… but I AM steeped in the conversation of leadership and positive emotion, and suddenly I’m seeing a whole new world of opportunity.
Because, you see, Stress management is at the heart of this. What do you do when you’re stressed? You eat too much and the “wrong” stuff. You light up. You sit on your couch and watch the telly. And what do you do when you overindulge in junk food, skip your walk, or start smoking? You get more stressed. It’s a self-fueling spiral.
Maybe now we can restart the conversation.
Instead of stress management, mindfulness activities, and self-care being “nice to have” tools for the marginally wierd, maybe… just maybe… the enormous expense that we can now associate with the Inability to Manage Stress will start to bring the conversation of happiness and responsible leadership into a whole new light.
Specifically, happier employeess COST LESS MONEY. and better leaders create HAPPIER EMPLOYEES. Funny, when we speak of positive culture improving productivity, everybody SAYS they “get it”… but nothing changes. I wonder what will happen as the conversation about the impact of Stress collides with the conversation about out-of-control healthcare expense at 20% of GDP?
I can’t stop thinking about this. I’m still not sure what to do with it… but it feels huge.
Happiness Isn’t Always The Goal
I recently read an article written by a mom who was dealing with the myriad emotions that sprang up as she moved through the process of taking her only child to college in a distant state. She spoke of anxiety, sadness, and even panic, and her point was this:
“Feelings are important, but they are not always reliable operating instructions.” In her case, the emotional response would have been to grab her daughter and head back home. But the rational thing was to leave her daughter behind and let life unfold at college.
“Sometimes,” she went on, “we must make friends with stress and loneliness and grief – or at least pretend to like them for awhile.” This was the lesson she’d learned at a parent orientation session at the college: Happiness isn’t always the goal.
Happiness isn’t always the goal?! What?! Yes, it’s true! While happiness is a lovely place to visit, and usually makes the Top 10 Most Desirable Emotions list, the reality is that happiness does not always serve us.
All Emotions Serve Us, In Different Ways
In appropriate doses, every emotion has a purpose. For example, Anger and Fear protect us from harm or the threat of same; Love and Affection help us to build connections with others; Sadness and Grief affirm our humanity by keeping us in touch with what’s important; Envy and Ambition keep us striving to be better; Determination and Perseverance help us maintain progress; Forgiveness releases us from burdens, Pessimism prevents us from overlooking problems, and Hope and Optimism make sure we can dream of a better future.
Another truth is that many of the “negative” emotions are what make the “positive” ones possible. Happiness is only possible if Sadness also exists**. Anxiety makes Calm more desirable. And let’s face it, would you appreciate Joy nearly as much if you did not have to sometimes deal with Frustration and Despair?
The above statements are only true, of course, when you have a healthy relationship with all emotions. If you don’t know how to deal with strong emotions like anger or grief, you may find yourself “stuffing” those down when they rise up, which means you never fully experience them… and so they remain stuck in your system, festering. People who have difficulty processing strong emotions often end up manifesting those in dysfunctional ways, e.g. unhealthy relationships, addictions, anger management issues, etc.
One of my goals is to help you develop healthy relationships with all your emotions so that you have the capacity to feel anger, fear, or other uncomfortable emotions in an appropriate way – then let them go, to create the space for emotions like calm, joy, satisfaction, and happiness to emerge.
Let It Happen – You’ll Survive!
I know a nutritional coach who claims that the biggest obstacle most people face when trying to change their relationship with food is that they don’t know how to deal with Hunger. Many people carry the “story” that if they feel hunger, it will harm them. That’s nonsense, of course.
Hunger is a physical sensation that comes and goes. The emotional “baggage” associated with hunger is a little tougher to deal with. When a client is ready, she gives them this assignment: “Tomorrow, after you eat breakfast as usual, you may eat nothing else until 5PM. You will feel hungry. I want you to notice that the sensation will come and go. If you need help, call me before you eat anything.”
At the first sign of hunger, panic can set in. But those who follow the instructions soon learn that if they ignore it, the feeling passes. They survive. And by the time they eat their dinner at 5PM, they have learned how to be comfortable with a little bit of hunger as a normal thing. That leads to a better relationship with food as fuel versus an emotional crutch.
In like manner, the path to better relationships with your stronger emotions begins with allowing yourself to experience some of them in small, controlled doses so that you can learn how to recover and move on.
I once worked with a client who ultra-controlled his emotions, mostly because he feared getting angry. People walked all over him, and he never reacted. I learned that his mother had uncontrollable rages, and he was convinced that if he got even a tiny bit mad, he’d go immediately to rage. I asked him, “If you could have a ‘healthy anger,’ what would that look like?” He painted a picture of standing up for himself, being able to defend his ideas in front of the rest of the team, and confronting a colleague who constantly stole his ideas.
I helped him begin with small conversations and move to larger expressions. He started with one-on-one situations, where he practiced explaining what he was feeling and why he felt that way. He eventually got used to expressing irritation, then frustration, and finally he learned to speak up in front of the entire group to say, “I am really upset that Chris is taking credit for this breakthrough, since I performed 90% of the research.” In the end, he learned he could be angry AND controlled, and his reputation – and influence — in the office improved dramatically.
Start small, work your way to bigger.
1. Practice by allowing yourself to experience and express smaller pieces of the emotions you’ve been avoiding. After my daughter died, I found it too easy to get drowned by my sadness. One of the ways I learned to deal with it was to limit my remembering to just a few minutes at a time, so that I would feel the sadness but not stay in it for a long time.
2. Watch a movie that evokes an emotional state. For instance, rent a movie about a sad subject, or a documentary that provokes you into anger, as a strategy for experiencing the emotion for a short time, then being able to step away.
3. Hold a “limited” conversation with a friend about the subject that evokes a strong response. Talking “about it” with someone you know and trust can help you dip into the emotional space without feeling like it will consume you. Arrange in advance with your friend to stop the conversation or move into another subject area after a specific time, e.g. 20 minutes.
4. Practice the skill of getting back to Calm. Try a short daily meditation practice, or simply practice taking deep, calming breaths a few times every day. This will give you a powerful tool that will help you come back from “the edge” when a strong emotion takes hold.
No matter what route you take to a healthier relationship with your emotions, you will increase your capacity for experiencing ALL emotions. So even when Happiness is not the goal, it can always be an option!
**For more on Why Sadness Matters, see the April 2009 edition of my newsletter
Say Cheese: 15 Fascinating Facts About Smiling
Ken recently contacted me to share an article he thought my Happiness audience would also enjoy — on Smiles. Of course! Ken’s audience is nurses (www.nursingschools.net), so he’s really grounded his research in the medical world — proving that smiles are GOOD FOR YOU!
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Everyone loves the quote “laughter is the best medicine,” and as a nurse, you have probably even experienced the benefits of smiling and laughter with your patients. In fact, smiling can boost your mood and even your immune system. Keep reading for more fascinating facts about our smiles.
- Forcing yourself to smile can boost your mood: Psychologists have found that even if you’re in bad mood, you can instantly lift your spirits by forcing yourself to smile.
- It boosts your immune system: Smiling really can improve your physical health, too. Your body is more relaxed when you smile, which contributes to good health and a stronger immune system.
- Smiles are contagious: It’s not just a saying: smiling really is contagious, scientists say. In a study conducted in Sweden, people had difficulty frowning when they looked at other subjects who were smiling, and their muscles twitched into smiles all on their own.
- Smiles Relieve Stress: Your body immediately releases endorphins when you smile, even when you force it. This sudden change in mood will help you feel better and release stress.
- It’s easier to smile than to frown: Scientists have discovered that your body has to work harder and use more muscles to frown than it does to smile.
- It’s a universal sign of happiness: While hand shakes, hugs, and bows all have varying meanings across cultures, smiling is known around the world and in all cultures as a sign of happiness and acceptance.
- We still smile at work: While we smile less at work than we do at home, 30% of subjects in a research study smiled five to 20 times a day, and 28% smiled over 20 times per day at the office.
- Smiles use from 5 to 53 facial muscles: Just smiling can require your body to use up to 53 muscles, but some smiles only use 5 muscle movements.
- Babies are born with the ability to smile: Babies learn a lot of behaviors and sounds from watching the people around them, but scientists believe that all babies are born with the ability, since even blind babies smile.
- Smiling helps you get promoted: Smiles make a person seem more attractive, sociable and confident, and people who smile more are more likely to get a promotion.
- Smiles are the most easily recognizable facial expression: People can recognize smiles from up to 300 feet away, making it the most easily recognizable facial expression.
- Women smile more than men: Generally, women smile more than men, but when they participate in similar work or social roles, they smile the same amount. This finding leads scientists to believe that gender roles are quite flexible. Boy babies, though, do smile less than girl babies, who also make more eye contact.
- Smiles are more attractive than makeup: A research study conducted by Orbit Complete discovered that 69% of people find women more attractive when they smile than when they are wearing makeup.
- There are 19 different types of smiles: UC-San Francisco researcher identified 19 types of smiles and put them into two categories: polite “social” smiles which engage fewer muscles, and sincere “felt” smiles that use more muscles on both sides of the face.
- Babies start smiling as newborns: Most doctors believe that real smiles occur when babies are awake at the age of four-to-six weeks, but babies start smiling in their sleep as soon as they’re born.
Jim’s NOTE: The two pictures in this post are of my “baby” sister Eileen (who has a beautiful smile) and her youngest, Shannon. Shannon was just 3 months old when this shot was taken — and she already was smilin’ like her mom!
To read this article in the original, visit here. Thanks for Sharing a Smile, Ken!
No Excuses
I’ve been whining to my marketing mastermind group about how I can’t find the time to get all my assignments completed. I’m not the only one. And then Thomas sent us all a link to this video. OK, that’s a WHOLE different perspective.
If you SAY it’s important, don’t make excuses.
Are You Caught In An Emotional Web?
Do you ever feel like you’re “stuck” in a situation or mindset?
When you get stuck it is often because you are off balance in one of the five domains in which you exist as a human being: Intellectual, Emotional, Physical, Spiritual, or Interpersonal.
Intellectual - Human beings are the only species on the planet that can Time Travel. How often do you spend time re-living / fretting / obsessing / savoring about your Past? And how much time do you spend worrying / dreaming / fantasizing / creating your Future? If you are stuck in a story about another time, you may find it quite challenging to live, work, and make decisions in the Present.
Emotional - When you get stuck it’s usually because the story you’re telling yourself about the Past/Future or Present evokes a strong emotion. You are always in some emotional state, of course, but the stronger the emotion, the farther you are from the place of rational calm where decisions are easier.
Think of your emotions as being spread out in a web around you (see figure). Each emotional “family” exists on a strand of intensity. As a very simple example, on the Anger strand Irritation is a fairly mild emotion. Frustration is a notch higher, Anger more intense, and at Rage one can spiral totally out of control. The Fear strand might start with low-level worry, escalating to the unreasoning state of Panic. The farther one moves from the center, the more intense the experience – and the more difficult it can be to make rational decisions. Yes, this is true even of the more positive emotions, as you can see from the Love strand.
Think of a spider and their web. Notice spiders always sit in the center of their web. Why? Because that is the strongest place. The farther out on a strand they go, the more vulnerable they become. The best path to any part of the web always runs THROUGH the center.
Physical - When you feel off balance in your body it is a literal experience, e.g. when you lean too far, sit in an awkward position, breathe very high in your body, or exceed your physical limitations (like climbing stairs or running too fast). Your intellectual story and the emotional response that goes with it can also affect your breathing and pulse rate in negative ways.
Spiritual – Imbalance in this domain occurs when you notice a break in the connection between you and the rest of the Universe. It’s not about religion; whether you are a Catholic, Muslim, agnostic, or tree-worshipper, your system craves to feel loved and legitimate in the world. When that is missing, you can feel groundless and unable to act.
Interpersonal - You get stuck around interpersonal issues when it’s about them, them, them. Most relationship problems are rooted not in the other person, but in the thought you have that “they” should change or be different. The more you hold that story (“why can’t THEY change?”) the more out of balance and stressed you feel, because you are essentially making yourself a Victim.
To Get Unstuck, Come Back To Center
A common effect across all five domains is this: the farther you are from your Center, the more likely you will feel stuck, unbalanced, disconnected, or out of control. So let’s explore the nature of Center.
Your Intellectual center is Now. When you come back from time traveling to be fully Present, you are at your most powerful.
Your Emotional center is calm, or Choice. From Calm, you can make better decisions and choose which emotional state will serve you best.
Your Physical center is your solar plexus, just below your navel. The Vitruvian Man (see illustration) demonstrates this. When you shift from autopilot into awareness of your body you ground yourself in the Here and now.
Your Spiritual center is Self-Acceptance, the place where you can say, “I am.” I am, I accept myself with no conditions. I am loved. I have legitimacy, I have the right to exist.
Your Interpersonal center is also You. In any interaction, you are 50% of the conversation… and you are only 50%. So if there’s anything going on in a relationship, what can you control? You – your story, your beliefs, and your attitude toward the other person(s).
I/It versus I/Thou
When your attitude is “I/It,” your relationship to others is transactional, where every conversation is more or less about what you can get out of it. When you hold an “I/Thou” mindset, you hold others in a place of respect that acknowledges their sacredness or legitimacy, where your conversation is, “I am legitimate and you also are legitimate and deserve respect.” An I/Thou mindset pulls you out of victimhood and into Strength. You access I/Thou when you are fully present in your body.
So these are your five centers: – Now, Calm (or Choice), Here, I am, I/Thou.
Exercise: Accessing Your Five Centers
I invite you to engage in an exercise. I want to show how in just a few seconds you can access all Five Centers simultaneously.
To begin, sit back in your seat and place your feet flat on the floor. Become aware of your breath as it enters and leaves your body. As you focus, consciously shift to breathing in and out through your nose.
Feel the rush of air as it races through your sinus cavities. Know that your sinus cavities are just below the part of brain that controls your emotions, the amygdala. From a neuro-biological perspective, when you take in a long, deep breath through your nose you send cool air across the surface of the amygdala, thus cooling it and decreasing blood flow – which automatically calms whatever emotional state you’re experiencing. (For those who do yoga, this is the Ujayi breath – Very powerful.)
Next, move your attention to where your breath goes inside your body. Consciously move your breath deeper into your body, until you can feel it coming all the way down to your physical center, your solar plexus. (To aid in this, you might place a hand on your belly just below your navel.)
Now let’s just take a long, deep breath together. Take the breath in through your nose. And notice how in this one moment, this is all you are thinking about. Notice how that deep breath evokes calm. You are fully present in your own body.
You are, in this moment, aligned in your Five Centers. Now. Calm. Here. I am. I/Thou.
Pretty cool, huh? Just from breathing…
I invite you to take one more deep breath, and remember how easy it is to pull yourself back from the rest of the universe and center yourself in Mind, Heart, Body, Spirit, Relationships. One breath: Now, calm, Here, I am, I/Thou.
Remember, you are what you repeatedly do. If this exercise resonates for you, make time every day to practice it. In time, your entire system will know what to do when you are under stress: Just breathe!
Choice by Tiny Choice, You Can Change Your Life!
I turned 54 last week. This was a special birthday to me, because there was a time when I did not expect to live this long.
When I was 28 I had heart problems that landed me in the Cardiac ICU at the Cleveland Clinic. While they tried to get my heart rate under control, my cardiologist introduced me to several older men who had the same arrhythmia, but it had not manifested in them until they were older… and they both nearly died on the spot the first time it happened. I remember him telling me, “you will not live as long as these guys did if you don’t take better care of yourself.” I asked the one guy, “How old are you?” 54. He was 54 and he looked like crap.
At the time, I was overweight, stressed, and had “too many” negative medical indicators. Ugh.
So my ‘scared shitless’ story took root, and I changed my life, one little habit shift at a time:
- I became disciplined about working out. At first it was twice a week, then three, and eventually five (that transition took 10 years).
- I lost weight.
- I started watching what I ate, and over the years became a low-carb, meat-free, fresh-foodie (with a dark chocolate addiction on the side). I did not become a vegetarian overnight — I got there by dropping one food at a time, and adding new foods gradually.
- I dropped my cholesterol by 80 points and normalized my blood pressure through diet.
- I cross trained, did Jazzercise, swam, ran, and lifted heavy things. Since I”m easily bored, I used variety in my workouts to keep myself motivated.
- I started noticing my self-talk, and gradually re-wrote all my ‘stories’ (still workin’ on this today!)
- I started studying happiness.
- I nurtured my optimism.
- I took up yoga (five years ago) and then meditation (three years ago).
And yet…. I realized just last year that I’ve been holding – for many years – the story that “I could die when I’m 54.” And I’ve been (quietly yet definitely) scared to turn 54.
And now, I’m here. And it’s not so scary after all.
And I got here one tiny shift, one new practice at a time.
And, my dear reader, that’s what I hope for you. You can change your life, Choice by tiny Choice.
Stand Tall. Breathe Deeply. Smile Often!
Practice Does Not Mean Perfect
I practice yoga.
I have to continually remind myself of that notion. I PRACTICE yoga. I continually strive to be better at it. But sometimes, I forget about the “Practice” part, and I try too hard to be Perfect…which is how I’ve ended up with two yoga injuries six months apart.
How can something that is GOOD for me turn ugly? Well, let me tell you, it ain’t easy.
My Yoga Story
My interest in yoga began eight years ago when my daughter, home on break, asked me to go with her to a Beginners Workshop on the other side of town. I went, I got hooked. Over time I have progressed from doing a few poses (or asanas) purely for the stretch value to now practicing intermediate yoga asanas to calm my mind, practice my breathing, and strengthen my ability to be fully present.
The whole point of yoga (which translates as “union”) is to help one connect body, mind, heart, and soul; and to accept and work with one’s limitations. It is about acceptance.
Oh, and did I mention that when you practice yoga regularly it tones muscles, improves balance, dramatically increases core strength, and FEELS fabulous? Yes, and that is where I get in trouble.
I REALLY like that physically fit thing. So, when I do a downward dog, I REALLY do a down dog. And the leg stretch in Warrior poses? I have to stretch to the max, and do a PERFECT pose, like the guys in the pictures in Yoga Journal. Which is how I injured my hips doing yoga last year… and why I now have shoulder problems.
Yes, I over-yoga’d. Sigh.
Do you REALLY need to be Perfect?
Have you ever done something like that? Gotten yourself so wrapped up in something you do that you just have to be PERFECT? Hey, don’t deny it, you have. It may not have been yoga. Maybe it was soccer. Or being the perfect spouse. Or perfect parent. or completing the P90X program – twice. Or gardening to excess. Or obssessing about fat/sugar/salt in your diet. Or getting all As in school. Or playing World of Warcraft. Or being PERFECTLY Happy?
It’s not about the physical part, it’s about the conversation of needing/wanting to be perfect, to do it right, to follow it all the way to the end.
Be Perfect ABOUT your Practice
Exercising my body, in the end, is not about being perfect — it is about being fully present to the process what’s going on with me. Being present means that I cannot come onto the yoga mat with an “agenda.” It can actually harm me to be too “determined,” about always getting it “right.” A better approach, I am reminded by one of my teachers, is to approach my yoga practice with equal parts patience and persistence, and to say, “I will do the best that I can, with what I have, today.”
And that is such a lovely approach to… well, just about everything: sports, school, parenting, marriage, diet, video games, and even happiness. You’ll simply never get it perfect every time, but you CAN be perfect in your practice, always learning, always getting back up and trying again when you fall.
So, as I nurse my inflamed shoulder back to health, I have learned how to modify my down dog so I’m no longer hyperextending my shoulder. I’m kinder to my hips when I stretch. And I don’t expect myself to be happy ALL the time.
But I keep practicing!
Do you get “typical results” from your life?
As part of my Marketing homework, I’ve been studying online sales sites – you know, those really long web pages that tell you everything possible about a product or service, with a Buy Now button at the bottom of the page.
A feature common to most such sites is Testimonials, usually from people who achieved to-die-for results:
- I made a bajillion dollars in five minutes after I bought this system!
- I lost 100 pounds reduced my body fat to 2% in just six weeks!
- I got over 1000 applications for my new program in one day!
And so on. I’m sure you’ve all seen sites like these. Usually there’s a note tucked discreetly into a dark corner that reminds readers that ‘your results may not be typical.’ Then, I came across this refreshingly candid Disclaimer, on a site that offers a four-phase workout program:
Please read our awesome disclaimer: Due to recent statements from the FTC, it is required that we identify what a “typical” result is. The truth: most people never do anything with the products they buy, so most of the time, their typical results are zero. The biggest factor is you. Don’t do drugs; stay in school. There is no such thing as a Silver Bullet. I bet this disclaimer would make a good rap song
Typical results are ZERO. Wow. Of course, the person who is about to type in their credit card information is thinking, “that’s not me. I’ll do this. I’m not like ‘those other people.’ Really?
I’ve read that over 40% of books purchased never get read, and that rate rises to 75% for books downloaded from the Internet. 29% of patients prescribed antibiotics fail to complete the full course of treatment, often because they forget. Personal trainers report that as many as 25% of appointments are no-shows — even when they’ve already paid for the session!
Fact is, we are creatures of habit, even when our habits hurt us and we desperately want to change them. We truly WANT to exercise more, improve our minds, get well, and manage time better. But unless we pay attention to what we are doing EVERY DAY, our new commitment slowly sinks into the muck of routine.
Make no mistake about it: if you want to change something in your life, you must be persistent. It takes a minimum of 100 repetitions for a new behavior to start feeling ‘normal.’
So … If you want to change your attitude, your fitness level, your time management, your mood, or any other aspect of you, be aware of your human tendency to drift back to old ways. Build in to your process some accountability checks — electronic reminders in your datebook, post-it notes on your bathroom mirror, working with a partner, having a friend check in with you, etc. (shameless commerce division: or hire a coach!)
If you PLAN for regression, and build something into your change process to get you back on track, you’re far more likely to make a lasting change.
As the disclaimer above reads, “The biggest factor is you.”
Don’t be typical.
39 Rules for a Good Life
Filed under: About Happiness, Everyday Happiness, Happiness Tips, health
I received this in email at the beginning of the year & loved it. But I was overwhelmed with other stuff at the time, so I set it aside. Pulled out the article today and I STILL love it (unable to find an author attribution). It’s called Handbook 2010, but it’s more like Rules for a Good Life.
HANDBOOK 2010
Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did last year.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
Personality:
11. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree…
Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. Time heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank your God for it.
39. Your Innermost is always happy. So, be happy.
Be Happy. Don’t ya just love it?!
Happiness, the BOOK!
The 13 Principles of Happiness