Come To Work Happy

A reader from Singapore sent me this cartoon.  Happiness in the workplace is a global concern.  In an era of cost-cutting and bad news, this presents a clever, low-cost strategy for improving morale **

**Funny, yes?  The thing is, studies have shown that even FAKE SMILES can have an impact on mood.  That stems in part from the ‘fake it till you make it’ reality of the Mind-Body connection — when we act a part long enough, we eventually grow into the emotion, so smiling when you don’t feel it will, after a few minutes, lift your spirits a bit because you emotion races to match what you’re doing w/ your body.

The other reason why the Fake Smile exercise works is that other people are more likely to smile back at you when you wear a smile. Because we humans are emotionally contagious, others’ good feelings rub off on you, lightening your own mood a bit.  Cool, huh?!

A Smile really is a powerful weapon in the fight against negativity at work!

Ten Grumpy Things to Like About Today

Had a conversation with a client who was feeling a bit down this morning.  OK, a LOT down — the economy’s nasty, his business is down, his wife may lose her job, his car needs new brakes… you get the picture. Grouse, grouse, grouse.  Ick.

When I challenged him to think of 3 positive things about today, he resisted.  From a place as low as he was, he found it tough to think upbeat.  He plowed on, however, and by the end he came up with ten+ things, and we were laughing together.

With his permission, I’m sharing the list.  Keep in mind this comes from a grumpy person <grin>

1. I’m above ground. Ok, I guess that any day I’m still above ground and breathing is a good day.
2. It’s not winter. I was so sick of last winter, you know?
3. It’s another day closer to my vacation. I SO need a vacation.
4. My plants need the rain.
5. Gas is a lot cheaper than same time last year.
6. My Inbox has less than 300 emails in it, which is good for me.
7. FedEx arrived on time this morning. Don’t you love that?!
8. Water’s running from the tap and electricity’s flowing without interruption, and that’s pretty amazing when you think about it.
9. I can go to the grocery store and buy fresh fruit all year round. That’s even more amazing
10. My wife and my dog still love me. Even when everybody else is crabby, my dog’s always in a good mood.
11. I’m healthy. As long as I have that, I’m good.

What’s positive in your life today?

Happiness is a Warm Toilet Seat

One consequence of aging is that one gets up in the middle of the night more often.  I hate it when my butt hits that cold seat in the night.  So it’s 3AM in the middle of my first nite in Tokyo, and I gotta go.  I stumble into the hotel bathroom and… OH.  MY.  GOD!  This toilet seat is warm!  Like…body temperature warm!

I have seen the high-tech Japanese toilets on television, but seeing is not the same as experiencing.  This is incredible.

The next morning, I examine the toilet with a bit more interest.  Not only is the seat heated, but it senses when an occupant sits down, and an internal fan immediately comes on to suck offending odors out of the air.  Hmm.

Next, I examine the control panel.  More accurately, I play with the 4” x 9” portable remote-control wireless console.  With it I can adjust the temperature of the seat; the temperature, strength, and direction of the water spray; and turn the dryer on and off.

Yes, it washes and dries the derriere.  There’s also a bidet, but I choose not to go there.

I want to take this toilet home with me.  My butt would be so very happy!

The Secret to Living Longer

Last weekend I delivered my “Five Prescriptions for Happiness” talk at the annual Reunion Weekend for the Baldwin Wallace College chapter of Alpha Gamma Delta.  Most of the attendees were current students or recent graduates; there were also a few tables of alumnae with babies in strollers; and a smattering of alums my age.

The Sunday afternoon event capped a day that had started with a fund-raising walk for a local charity and included a festive lunch and celebration, so the mood in the room was quite high.  The women readily engaged in the discussion and the short activities that are part of the talk.

Near the end of my talk, I have the entire audience on their feet for an activity that demonstrates the Mind-Body connection, and this group loved it.  Since I was the closing event for the weekend, the group was adjourned a few mins after my talk ended, and I was surrounded for a few minutes by smiling young women who came over to thank me for delivering such an upbeat message.

Behind the crowd I noticed an older woman waiting patiently for her turn to speak with me.  Eventually the hubbub subsided and she came forward.

“Young man,” she started (I was immediately in love with her – at age 53 I don’t get called ‘young man’ very often anymore!).  “Young man, I agree with everything you say, and I think you’re the best speaker we’ve ever had at this event.”

“Thank you,” I replied politely.  And then a question: “and how many of these have you attended?”  Every single one, it turns out.  Which is a lot.  She and I fell into a longer conversation.

Margaret is 95 years old, and was a 1934 graduate of Baldwin Wallace College.  She is apparently a cultural icon in the BW Alpha Gamma Delta community.  She maintains an active involvement in the chapter; each fall she hosts a barbeque dinner at her house for the chapter and their new initiates…and has been doing so for a LONG time.

She comes across as bright, energetic, and much younger than her chronology would indicate.  I remarked on that.  Her response: “Do you want to know the secret to living a long and happy life?”  “Absolutely!” I declared.

“The secret to living longer is to have friends who are younger.  And now that I’m 95, I have no choice” she said with a wink and a smile.

She’s 95 and stays young by hanging out with 20 year olds – and by keeping her sense of humour sharp.  How cool is that?!

Tough Choice

I could not resist pulling this two-minute video onto my blog.  It resonated with me because, of all the leadership challenges that come up in coaching and training conversations, this is the most common area of concern (I can’t tell you more without giving away the twist).

This is part of a new series of humorous looks at Crucial Conversations posted by Vital Smarts.  It’s certainly a novel way of getting out the word!

Now that you’ve watched it, we can talk.

I deliver several different workshops on Communication and Coaching, and the PA conversation seems always to be at the heart of “concerns.” Sad, AND true.

Truly, how many of you carry this same perception of the Performance Appraisal experience? Guess what — LOTS of people feel this way.

Thanks goodness we can laugh about it. Now, what might we DO about it, so this is not such an unhappy process for so many people? How might we show up differently as leaders so that it’s an easy choice?

Something to think about.

Everything’s Amazing, Nobody’s Happy

This is a simply riotous video that you’ll especially appreciate if you are “older” (over 25).  In a four-minute clip of Conan O’Brien hosts the comedian Louis CK who is talking of the spoiled generation (tho frankly, I know a lot of older folks who behave the same way).

The sentiment here is that we are living in a world that is truly astounding… and we’ve become numb to the miracles we live with every day.    Enjoy!

If you cannot view the video clip here, you can see it at YouTube

Putting this sentiment into action

While I was nearly hysterical with laughter the first time I viewed this, I found that a second viewing led me down a more reflective path.  What ARE the everyday miracles I take for granted? Here’s just three:

• Ten years ago if I wanted to discover facts about a topic I would have to read the Encyclopedia (a now-ancient format for gathering info), or spend a half day going to the library for research.  Now, I just Google it, in seconds.
• When my oldest child went to college, we established our own toll-free phone number, because that was the only way to avoid outrageous ‘long-distance’ phone charges.  Now, my “land” phone is via the Internet, and I can call anywhere in the world and nobody cares about cost.
• And one of my favorites:  my record collection when I was younger weighed about 60 pounds and required two people to carry a huge, heavy-duty crate;  AND I could only play one record at a time.  Now, I carry over 220 albums — enough music to mix and play continuously for 10.1 days! — in a container slightly larger than a deck of cards.  OH, and I have my entire movie collection in that same container.  OH, and the equivalent of  six photo albums.  How cool is that?!

When you take a moment to appreciate what you DO have, rather than focusing on what’s missing,  you’ll have a much happier ride!

Hey, how about you take a moment to leave a comment and share just 1-2 everyday miracles that you thought about while reading this post! Thanks.

There Are Other Places To Sing

A reader sent me this story as a response my post on Saying Goodbye.  I teared up as I read it, and now pass it along to you.  My Aunt Corrine passed on last Friday evening — she’s now singing in a different place.

I hope you enjoy it.

THE OLD PHONE

When I was quite young, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it.

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was ‘Information Please’ and there was nothing she did not know. Information Please could supply anyone’s number and the correct time.

My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my Mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy.

I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the Parlor and dragged it to the landing climbing up; I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear. ‘Information, please,’ I said into the mouthpiece just above my head. A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear.

‘Information.’

‘I hurt my finger,’ I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough now that I had an audience.

‘Isn’t your mother home?’ came the question.

‘Nobody’s home but me,’ I blubbered.

‘Are you bleeding?’ the voice asked. ‘No,’ I replied. ‘I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts.’ ‘Can you open the icebox?’ she asked.

I said I could.

‘Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger,’ said the voice.

After that, I called ‘Information Please’ for everything. I asked her for help with my geography, and she told me where  Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math. She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.

Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called, ‘Information Please,’ and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, ‘Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring Joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?’

She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, ‘ Wayne , always remember that there are other worlds to sing in.’

Somehow I felt better.

Another day I was on the telephone, ‘Information Please.’ ‘Information,’ said in the now familiar voice. ‘How do I spell fix?’ I asked.

All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest . When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to  Boston . I missed my friend very much. ‘Information Please’ belonged in that old wooden box back home and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me.

Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.

A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in  Seattle  I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown Operator and said, ‘Information Please.’

Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well. ‘Information.’

I hadn’t planned this, but I heard myself saying, ‘Could you please tell me how to spell fix?’

There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, ‘I guess your finger must have healed by now.’

I laughed, ‘So it’s really you,’ I said. ‘I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?’

‘I wonder,’ she said, ‘if you know how much your call meant to me. I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls.’

I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.

‘Please do,’ she said. ‘Just ask for Sally.’ Three months later I was back in  Seattle  a different voice answered:  Information.’ I asked for Sally.

‘Are you a friend?’ she said.

‘Yes, a very old friend,’ I answered.

‘I’m sorry to have to tell you this,’ she said. ‘Sally had been working part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago.’

Before I could hang up she said, ‘Wait a minute, did you say your name was Wayne ?’ ‘Yes.’ I answered.

‘Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called. Let me read it to you.’ The note said, ‘Tell him there are other worlds to sing in. He’ll know what I mean.’

I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.

Never underestimate the impression you may make on others.

Whose life have you touched today?

Why not pass this on? I just did….

Lifting you on eagle’s wings. May you find the joy and peace you long for.

Life is a journey … NOT a guided tour. So don’t miss the ride and have a great time going around.  You don’t get a second shot at it.

Namaste,  Jim

“Too Much” Dark Chocolate? Impossible!

“Do you really need that?” my wife asked as I dropped a dark chocolate bar into the grocery cart.

“One can never have too much dark chocolate,” I countered.  She gave me a look…. “I think you have an ample supply,” she offered, grimly.  Hmmm.

Curious, I set out to learn just how much chocolate I possess right now.  Here is my inventory.

In the refrigerator:

• 3 bottles of Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino
• 3 of Dark Chocolate Raspberry Frappuccino  (well, as long as I’m here…make that 2)
• 2 bottles Brooklyn Brewery Black Chocolate Stout (excellent when served with.. Dark Chocolate!)

In the freezer:

• 1 remaining sleeve of Thin Mints Girl Scout Cookies (I freeze them so they last all year — I should finish these just about the time the 2009 cookie sale commences!)

On the counter in my office:

• 6 bars of Lake Champlain 54% Dark Chocolate bars in various stages of consumption, including Peppermint Crunch, Raspberry Truffle, Coffee Truffle, Dark Chocolate Truffle, Dark Chocolate with Almonds, and just a plain Dark Chocolate Bar
• (correction.  The Dark Chocolate Truffle bar is now history.  I needed something to eat with the Dark Chocolate Raspberry Frappuccino…)

In my desk drawer:

• 1 box Altoids Dark Chocolate Dipped Peppermints
• 1 tin Choxie Dark Chocolate Espresso Beans
• 1/2 bag Starbucks Dark Chocolate covered Dried Cherries
• 2 bars Cocoa Via Original Chocolate Bar. This is a mini-bar — only 100 calories — that sports the tagline, “Promotes a Healthy Heart(tm),” so it’s really Health Food

In the pantry:

• 1 half-eaten Godiva Dark and White Chocolate bar
• Part of a 85% Dark Chocolate bar from Russia (I can’t recall the manufacturer — but it’s awesome!)
• 1 nearly empty container of Trader Joe’s Belgian Dark Chocolate Mini Grahams (I bought those for Christmas)
• 1 half-full container Trader Joes’ Dark Chocolate covered Australian Crystallized Ginger (technically, these are a vegetarian, low-sodium food!)
• 3 Fiber One Oats and Chocolate bars
• 2 bars Larabar Jocolat (chocolate) pure organic chocolate food bar (fabulous!  made with dates, almonds, walnuts, cashews and cocoa)
• Part of a Chuao Spicy Maya — 60% dark chocolate bar infused with pasilla chile and cayenne pepper
• 1 jar Love Street Living Foods 100% organic Raw Vegan Chocolate Spread w/ Agave Nectar **This truly IS a healthy food!**
• 1 half-full Jar Nutella hazelnut and cocoa spread
• 1 jar Pure Ohio Creamed Honey Spread, Chocolate flavor, from Ambrose Honeyworks, a local bee farm
• 1 Trader Joe’s 72% DARK Belgian Chocolate bar
• 1 Endangered Species Chocolate bar; 70% Dark Chocolate w/ Raspberries
• 1 bag Dark Chocolate covered Pretzels from Bella Chocolates (a local chocolatier)

In my Coffee Corner:

• 1 Tin Trader Joe’s Sipping Chocolate mix
• 1 nearly-empty tin of Starbucks Mocha Powder (sporting the tagline: “when coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate”)

Oh, and this inventory does not count the tin of Hershey’s Cocoa or the bag of Nestle Semi-Sweet Chocolate chips, because they are technically not for eating — just for cooking.

Is it possible to have too much dark chocolate?

“Too much,” I think, is an assessment.  It feels like an arbitrary judgment.  My wife is a sports fanatic.  Is it possible, I might ask, to watch “too much” football or “too much” baseball?  She would, of course, respond that it is not possible.

Exactly.

She is a consumer of sports, I am a consumer of Dark Chocolate.  Sports is her Vice of Choice, while Dark Chocolate is mine.  I call that a tie!

Besides, if there was NO Dark Chocolate in the house, I would feel insecure and anxious.  What if there’s a snowstorm, and we can’t get to the store for several days, you know what I mean?  Having SOME Dark Chocolate in the house makes me feel warm and secure and content.  I’m a better husband, coach, parent, and Human Being when I consume Dark Chocolate.

So I conclude that the amount of Dark Chocolate in the house is…. Just Right.  And that makes me very happy. 

Employee Happiness Kit

<<Oh, this was too precious to pass up!  Jim>>

Memo from Management:

All employees will be required to look happy while at work.

Here is the new low cost, company approved solution
to cope with multiple priorities and assignments!

Each employee will be supplied 2 paper clips and rubber bands. (See Fig 1.)

Fig 1.

Assemble items as shown in Fig 2.

Fig 2.

Apply as shown in Fig 3.

Fig 3.

Enjoy your day.
This new office equipment will help you to reach
the end of a productive work day with a smile on your face!

Cheers!
The Management

Happiness is a Warm Hat

We drove to South Bend to see Syracuse play Notre Dame this weekend.  While there we met up with our daughter and son-in-law, and his parents and his sister and her new husband.  Fun time!

It was cold.  We did a little tailgating, but no one really wanted to spend a lot of time out in a tundra-like parking lot.  The game was the big draw.  Like always, the atmosphere on the Notre Dame campus on a Football Weekend is nearly electric.  Although the focus was on football, a lot of people were also lauding the Women’s Soccer team, which had won in overtime the nite before to boost their record to 24-0-0 — WOW!

So, back to the cold. 24 degrees doesn’t sound that cold… until one has to be outside in that temperature for four or five hours.

And the temperature drops to 18 degrees.

And you are standing on solid ice because it snowed 6″ just before the game.

And your team loses in an embarrassing game filled with lost opportunities.

Did you know that 18 degrees Farenheit is -8 Celsius?  With windchill, that’s -17 degrees Celsius.

Well, despite the cold, we had a great time.  We were insulated with up to five layers of clothing — all of it green or navy, of course — and drank our share of hot cocoa served at 500 degrees (which is a trip and a half to drink when wearing mittens!).

And my head stayed warm under three wraps.

Happiness is a warm hat

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