“Too Much” Dark Chocolate? Impossible!

“Do you really need that?” my wife asked as I dropped a dark chocolate bar into the grocery cart.

“One can never have too much dark chocolate,” I countered.  She gave me a look…. “I think you have an ample supply,” she offered, grimly.  Hmmm.

Curious, I set out to learn just how much chocolate I possess right now.  Here is my inventory.

In the refrigerator:

• 3 bottles of Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino
• 3 of Dark Chocolate Raspberry Frappuccino  (well, as long as I’m here…make that 2)
• 2 bottles Brooklyn Brewery Black Chocolate Stout (excellent when served with.. Dark Chocolate!)

In the freezer:

• 1 remaining sleeve of Thin Mints Girl Scout Cookies (I freeze them so they last all year — I should finish these just about the time the 2009 cookie sale commences!)

On the counter in my office:

• 6 bars of Lake Champlain 54% Dark Chocolate bars in various stages of consumption, including Peppermint Crunch, Raspberry Truffle, Coffee Truffle, Dark Chocolate Truffle, Dark Chocolate with Almonds, and just a plain Dark Chocolate Bar
• (correction.  The Dark Chocolate Truffle bar is now history.  I needed something to eat with the Dark Chocolate Raspberry Frappuccino…)

In my desk drawer:

• 1 box Altoids Dark Chocolate Dipped Peppermints
• 1 tin Choxie Dark Chocolate Espresso Beans
• 1/2 bag Starbucks Dark Chocolate covered Dried Cherries
• 2 bars Cocoa Via Original Chocolate Bar. This is a mini-bar — only 100 calories — that sports the tagline, “Promotes a Healthy Heart(tm),” so it’s really Health Food

In the pantry:

• 1 half-eaten Godiva Dark and White Chocolate bar
• Part of a 85% Dark Chocolate bar from Russia (I can’t recall the manufacturer — but it’s awesome!)
• 1 nearly empty container of Trader Joe’s Belgian Dark Chocolate Mini Grahams (I bought those for Christmas)
• 1 half-full container Trader Joes’ Dark Chocolate covered Australian Crystallized Ginger (technically, these are a vegetarian, low-sodium food!)
• 3 Fiber One Oats and Chocolate bars
• 2 bars Larabar Jocolat (chocolate) pure organic chocolate food bar (fabulous!  made with dates, almonds, walnuts, cashews and cocoa)
• Part of a Chuao Spicy Maya — 60% dark chocolate bar infused with pasilla chile and cayenne pepper
• 1 jar Love Street Living Foods 100% organic Raw Vegan Chocolate Spread w/ Agave Nectar **This truly IS a healthy food!**
• 1 half-full Jar Nutella hazelnut and cocoa spread
• 1 jar Pure Ohio Creamed Honey Spread, Chocolate flavor, from Ambrose Honeyworks, a local bee farm
• 1 Trader Joe’s 72% DARK Belgian Chocolate bar
• 1 Endangered Species Chocolate bar; 70% Dark Chocolate w/ Raspberries
• 1 bag Dark Chocolate covered Pretzels from Bella Chocolates (a local chocolatier)

In my Coffee Corner:

• 1 Tin Trader Joe’s Sipping Chocolate mix
• 1 nearly-empty tin of Starbucks Mocha Powder (sporting the tagline: “when coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate”)

Oh, and this inventory does not count the tin of Hershey’s Cocoa or the bag of Nestle Semi-Sweet Chocolate chips, because they are technically not for eating — just for cooking.

Is it possible to have too much dark chocolate?

“Too much,” I think, is an assessment.  It feels like an arbitrary judgment.  My wife is a sports fanatic.  Is it possible, I might ask, to watch “too much” football or “too much” baseball?  She would, of course, respond that it is not possible.

Exactly.

She is a consumer of sports, I am a consumer of Dark Chocolate.  Sports is her Vice of Choice, while Dark Chocolate is mine.  I call that a tie!

Besides, if there was NO Dark Chocolate in the house, I would feel insecure and anxious.  What if there’s a snowstorm, and we can’t get to the store for several days, you know what I mean?  Having SOME Dark Chocolate in the house makes me feel warm and secure and content.  I’m a better husband, coach, parent, and Human Being when I consume Dark Chocolate.

So I conclude that the amount of Dark Chocolate in the house is…. Just Right.  And that makes me very happy. 

Employee Happiness Kit

<<Oh, this was too precious to pass up!  Jim>>

Memo from Management:

All employees will be required to look happy while at work.

Here is the new low cost, company approved solution
to cope with multiple priorities and assignments!

Each employee will be supplied 2 paper clips and rubber bands. (See Fig 1.)

Fig 1.

Assemble items as shown in Fig 2.

Fig 2.

Apply as shown in Fig 3.

Fig 3.

Enjoy your day.
This new office equipment will help you to reach
the end of a productive work day with a smile on your face!

Cheers!
The Management

Happiness is a Warm Hat

We drove to South Bend to see Syracuse play Notre Dame this weekend.  While there we met up with our daughter and son-in-law, and his parents and his sister and her new husband.  Fun time!

It was cold.  We did a little tailgating, but no one really wanted to spend a lot of time out in a tundra-like parking lot.  The game was the big draw.  Like always, the atmosphere on the Notre Dame campus on a Football Weekend is nearly electric.  Although the focus was on football, a lot of people were also lauding the Women’s Soccer team, which had won in overtime the nite before to boost their record to 24-0-0 — WOW!

So, back to the cold. 24 degrees doesn’t sound that cold… until one has to be outside in that temperature for four or five hours.

And the temperature drops to 18 degrees.

And you are standing on solid ice because it snowed 6″ just before the game.

And your team loses in an embarrassing game filled with lost opportunities.

Did you know that 18 degrees Farenheit is -8 Celsius?  With windchill, that’s -17 degrees Celsius.

Well, despite the cold, we had a great time.  We were insulated with up to five layers of clothing — all of it green or navy, of course — and drank our share of hot cocoa served at 500 degrees (which is a trip and a half to drink when wearing mittens!).

And my head stayed warm under three wraps.

Happiness is a warm hat

Happiness is a wet dog

So, my wife and I are dogsitting for our “grand dog,” while my daughter and son-in-law are on a vacation in New York City. We see the dog (Heidi, a miniature black schnauzer) regularly, since we drop by their house every evening and take Heidi with us on our daily walk.  She’s a sweet, well-behaved, and incredibly well-trained dog.

Living with a dog, however, is very different from visiting with one.

With Heidi living at our house for the past few days, I am reminded of the many reasons why we no longer own a dog ourselves:

1. Dogs demand attention. Every 30 minutes or so she removes herself from her blanket and makes it quite clear that it is “time to give the dog a backrub.  NOW!”  It’s been interesting the past two workdays, as she comes out to my office, lays her head on my lap, and stares up at me.  Shooing her away does not work.  Only after I give her several minutes of attention will she shake herself off, look at me with satisfaction, and head back for a (yet another) nap.
2. Dogs watch everything you do.  Everything. It’s sort of creepy when she just sits and stares at me.  While I eat: staring.  When I brush my teeth: staring.  While I grade papers, write, or read the newspaper: staring.  It’s sort of like having a stalker, only smaller.
3. Dogs have their own agendas. Like, “I want to go out and smell stuff at 3AM” or “I love to snuffle around in decomposing leaves — you don’t mind if I bring them inside, do you?”
4. Dogs don’t wear boots outdoors. So when it’s raining, they bring mud samples inside.  And when it’s snowing, they like to collect several pounds of ice and bring it in to melt it on the linoleum floor, right where I stand in my socks.  Brrr!
5. Dogs don’t use toilets. This means we cannot leave the house for longer than 7 hours.  Well, this is not too much of a hardship for a few days, but I feel very restricted by that timeframe.  Our goldfish can go up to two days without us — much more convenient.
6. Dogs can’t open doors. So, you were thinking weekend, and sleeping in?  NOT!  This dog wants to head outside and then be fed — and let outside again — at 6AM, 7 days a week.  Bummer.
7. Wet dogs smell. Yep.  No matter how cute, a dog that’s been out in the rain exudes an odor like… well, a wet dog!

Maybe I’m being a bit harsh.  Heidi truly is a joy.  She’s small enough to sit on my lap, and is overall a very well-behaved dog.  While she may demand back rubs a bit often, her show of gratitude always warms my heart (dogs are great at being Happy!).  Plus — and this is a mystery — this dog almost never barks.  Truly!  Her orginal owner trained her well.  So she’s never disruptive while I’m on the phone, even when she’s trying to crawl up onto my chair while I’m typing.

Plus, I’m realizing that this training may serve me well for when we eventually have grandchildren.  Can you see the parallels? Grandchildren: demand attention, watch everything you do, have their own agendas, track in dirt, don’t use toilets, can’t open doors (we hope!), and when they’re wet… they smell. 

Do you believe in your right to burn your own money?

Should the government stop dumping money into a giant hole?

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/in_the_know_should_the_government

You decide this important issue (Video clip, 2 mins)

« Previous Page