Tiny Stories of Gratitude for the Holidays

A client of mine sent this story as part of his holiday message, and I loved it so much I asked for his permission to share it with all of you. My guest columnist, Rob, is an executive who lives in Chicagoland.

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I ask you all to practice random acts of kindness this season. During the past few weeks a few things have happened that I would like to share.

1. I picked up a pair of shoes from a the cobbler and indicated to the woman in the store that I was excited because I had only one more official Christmas Party to go to.  She said: ” I wish I had a Christmas Party to Go to.”

Let’s Be Grateful for what we have and get to do!

2. I shared with a beautiful woman my goal of teaching at the University of Chicago.  She shared with me that she had received her PhD there and had this set of china with Pictures of the Buildings on them from 1931.  I had just met her.  She left and returned within 10 minutes and gave me the 12-piece set of china.

Be Grateful for the generosity of others!

3. I was able to hear one of my best friends play his violin in Handel’s Messiah.  He was, and it was, amazing.

Be Grateful for the Talent and Growth of others!

4. I was blessed to have lunch with my mom and my aunt in Chicago at the Walnut Room of Marshall Fields.  Generally the wait is 2-4 hours.  I had exchanged holiday greetings with a man on an elevator earlier.  He saw us in line and gave us his reservation which was 45 minutes earlier.

There is an abundance of Generosity in the World!

5. Lunch and the time with mom and Aunt Arlene was a blessing!

Enjoy family and loved ones.  Be grateful!

6. We decided to have dessert at the Cheese Cake Factory on Michigan Avenue.  Another wait was in front of us.  I greeted the host with “Hello and Merry Christmas.”  He stopped and said “What did you say?”  “I said, Merry Christmas.”  He said “you are the first person who said that all day.  Thank you!”  and he seated us immediately

There are so many other miracles that keep happening!

I heard the bells on Christmas Day; their old familiar carols play, and wild

and sweet the word repeat of peace on earth, good-will to men!”

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, American Poet

14 Life Lessons from a Trip to Italy

In May I spent 10 days in Italy with my wife, daughter, son-in-law, and eight-month-old grandson. While we did some touristy things (e.g. you simply cannot visit Florence and NOT see the David!), we also immersed ourselves in the culture.

We never set foot in a hotel or gift shop. Instead, we slept in residential neighborhoods in old convent rooms now run as B&Bs by the nuns, or in an apartment within a medieval-era walled city with a commanding view of olive orchards and vineyards.

Immersion in a foreign culture refreshes the way I view the world. First, the “different-ness” of life in another country or region opens up new awareness; then, my newly expanded lens causes me to review habits and beliefs that were previously “invisible” to me.

Through the lens of learning, I share with you my most powerful life lessons from Italy:

1. Just because you don’t know where you are does not mean you are lost. We circled parts of Umbria and Florence for hours, unable to make sense of the serpentine, one-way roads…and we had a blast!
   Just like in real life, the pleasure’s as much in the journey as the destination.
2. You can be way off track and still maintain balance. I’m a vegetarian who manages my diet to minimize starches and fat.  Not in Italy!  There I consumed huge amounts of pasta, gelato and vino every day, and LOVED it!
   There’s nothing wrong with letting the pendulum swing far in one direction, as long as you ride the swing back in the other direction to keep yourself centered.  To balance our doubling of food, we walked EVERYWHERE!
3. Don’t underestimate the common and familiar. At first, we resisted the vino della casa (the house wine), thinking it was the “cheap stuff.”  We learned that in Italy the house wine (typically ~€3/liter, about $4.50US) was inexpensive because it was made just a few kilometers down the road – and it was always fantastico!.
   Take a fresh look at what is right under your nose and you may be pleasantly surprised. I’m now paying more attention to the Locavore movement, which is all about reconnecting with the great quality of foods and opportunities nearby.
4. Happiness is all around, but there’s not always a Sign. One of my two vices is great coffee, and I was told that “espresso bars are everywhere” in Italy.  I was frustrated until I learned that the bars are typically tiny and, since the locals already know where they are, poorly marked.  Once I had clues, I could find a shot of espresso within minutes.
   Happiness is like that – if you don’t know what you seek, it’s impossible to find.  Seek clarity, and you’ll soon realize it’s right in front of you.
5. Do your inner work, first. Americans are often concerned about the view OF their house, e.g. how others see their house/lawn/gardens from the street.  In Italy, gardens are maintained in hidden courtyards, so the focus is on the view FROM the house.
   When you work on how YOU see the world, you will create more positive change than when you spend all your time worrying about your “image” with others.
6. We build on other’s successes. While we think we are special and so advanced, we are not the first generation to achieve huge innovation and create great works – ancient Rome proves that point. If not for the accomplishments and creativity of those who went long before us, what we have today would not and could not be.
   We have a responsibility to understand history and use it in two ways: as a jumping off point to build a better future AND for lessons on what NOT to repeat!
7. When you move all day, many small steps add up. Our busiest walking day (nearly 20km/12mi!) covered ancient Rome’s central city: the Forum, Palatine Hill, and the Coliseum.  Yet because we stopped for a picnic lunch in the emperor’s throne room and a nap in the palace gardens, we survived the day.
   As the saying goes, “how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time;” any big undertaking becomes easier when tackled just one step at a time.
8. Happiness is in the small things and the quiet moments. One of my fondest memories will be of the supreme calm I’d experience each time I stepped off the crowded, frantic streets of Florence and into the dark, cool quiet of the convent lobby.
   Take a moment to breathe.
9. There are friendly people everywhere. We got lost.  We feared pickpockets. We sat down in restaurants where nothing was in English.  We learned that no matter the situation, per favore and grazie (please and thank you) brought out the best in others.
   In life, we often assume that we’re on our own because we buy the “story” that the world is an uncaring and dangerous place. That’s an image created by the media to sell newspapers, cable news, and reality shows.  In the Real World, 98% of the people you ask will return a smile with a smile, and help you on your way.
10. Once you let go of control, it’s easier to enjoy the ride. Italians pay scant attention to breakfast, start dinner “too late, and drive like lunatics on impossibly narrow roads, right?  Well, it took a few days for us to understand, but once we let go of our American “filters” and embraced a different set of rules, we had a better time, and created great stories to tell.
    Let go of your “shoulds” and instead be curious about what is.
11. Don’t sleep with the windows open unless you pull down the screens. Don’t get mad at the mosquitoes – it’s not their fault you forgot!
12. Although it is hard work to climb up hill, the spectacular views from the top make it all worthwhile.
13. Anything that seems strange at first can feel perfectly normal after a week. Exhibit A: pumpkin, sardines, and octopus on a pizza (it was pretty tasty!)
14. There’s no place like home. No matter how delightful the trip, there’s nothing quite as lovely as a good night’s sleep in your own bed!

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The 13 Principles of Happiness offer even more life lessons.  Visit http://www.theexecutivehappinesscoach.com/happiness/philosophies.cfm, to download a 1-page PDF Poster.  Post it on your workplace wall or your fridge at home, and try to live principle each day!

Think beyond what you believe

185 voices from 58 countries, individually recorded then mixed into a single choir. While some lament how the internet separates, this video shows us how we can be part of something far greater when the internet serves as a means to connect.

I recently discovered Eric Whitacre, a classical composer/conductor, through his TED talk on the creation of a Virtual Choir.  (also worth the time to view!). This was his vision.

This made me smile, and I share it with you in that spirit. I challenge you to think beyond what you believe.

Summer Reading List: In Search of “Must Reads”

The 2011 Summer Reading List
Nominations NOW OPEN

That’s right; it’s time for my TWELFTH ANNUAL Summer Reading List (SRL). Each year before I head to the Atlantic shore I solicit ideas for great new reads that you’ve discovered.  I’m looking for titles on COACHING, HAPPINESS, and LEADERSHIP topics as well as great NOVELS and frothy little BEACH BOOKS.  I’m especially interested in new genres, etc, as my reading tastes are eclectic.** I make my selections from your input, and then share the compiled list with all of you, so you can make your own Summer Selections at the bookstore.

If you’d like to participate, please note the following four points:

1. What are the MUST READS you’ve encountered this year? Please share your discoveries.
2. I need your ideas by May 31 – the Tuesday following Memorial Day – in order to give me time to research and get the list published along with the June 22 edition of my newsletter.
3. Please help me manage my Inbox!  Use this link to make your Subject Line, Summer Reading List 2011
4. Include in the text three items: Title (including subtitle if you have it), Author, and a paragraph telling me why you like/recommend the book.

**If you are new to my SRL or want to get started early on your summer reading, you can find the past three years on my Archives Page (’08, ’09, & ’10).

I can’t wait to hear your recommendations!  In anticipation, Jim

I’ve Joined the Cult of Apple!

For years I’ve carried on a good-natured banter with my friends and relatives who belonged to what I called The Cult of Apple. They were far too satisfied with their computing experiences for me to believe it was real.  There had to be a catch, right?

I was an Unbeliever.

Someone gave me an old iPod Nano, with which I consumed audiobooks while I worked out.  Soon I graduated to a full iPod to hold my 6,000+ songs, and fell in love with podcasts and playlists.

Then I started loading teleclass recordings, and my iPod became a legitimate business tool. As more colleagues converted their office systems to Apple products and spoke with actual JOY about their experience, I began to think, “Hmm… maybe it’s more than hype…maybe there’s some real advantages???”

My family gifted me with an iPad last Christmas, which opened up a new world of accessibility and portability, including a means for devouring books via my iBook and Kindle apps.  It also syncs seamlessly with my music and audio files.  Nice.

Last week, my four-year-old LG mobile officially died.  I’d been in denial for weeks, but as more and more buttons stopped working, I had to face reality: I needed a new phone.  At the Verizon store I considered multiple alternatives, and in the end, noticing how the employees themselves were salivating over the iPhone, I decided to make the leap.

I joined the Apple Cult.  Oh, My, Goodness! This is the most complex technology I’ve ever carried in my pocket, yet the conversion was painless.  I brought it home, plugged it in to my computer, and iTunes asked, “do you want this to look like your iPad?”  I said, yes, and in 30 minutes I had a fully-functional, totally synced iPhone in my hands…. And in just a few days, it has changed my life!

My six-year old laptop has aging “issues,” and my desktop has had its brains replaced twice and keeps trying to commit suicide. I hear the siren call of the Apple cult, drawing me in…

There’s Happiness Under the Snow!

After nearly 8 weeks, our perpetual crust of snow and ice is finally melting.

As I walked the path to my office after lunch yesterday, I looked down and saw dozens of tiny crocus petals poking up thru the last thin crust of ice.  They are already an inch high.

They made me smile!

What’s Your Favorite Christmas FOOD Memory?

One of my favorite websites just ran a “Christmas Food Memory” contest and –Woohoo! — I received an honorable mention for my entry. It’s about dark chocolate, of course.  I thought I’d share with you & ask about YOUR favorite holiday food memory.

Here’s my story:

It was the fudge. Oh, god, how I waited for Christmas each year, because my mom only made her two specialties then: cinnamon shortbread cookies and her famous fudge. My mom’s fudge was deeply, darkly chocolatey, and she tossed in a tiny bit of crushed candy canes for a teensy bit of peppermint. Once the fudge was set, she cut it into little one-inch squares, so one pan yielded hundreds!

Here’s how I ate that fudge (and I still eat it this way today): open mouth, insert one piece. Close mouth. Do not chew… just let it dissolve. Ooh, feel the buttery, chocolatey, slightly granularness of it on your tongue. Mash it up against the roof of your mouth with your tongue. Feel the chocolate juices running out of it. Patience…. do not chew. Feel the silky softness, and then the tiny shards of peppermint that touch the tongue as the fudge dissolves. Close your eyes and swim around in the darkness of it. Mmmm. Patience… wait for it…. and when there is nothing left but the peppermint with just a little pool of fudginess… it’s OK to chew up the rest.

You know, once I grew up and started cooking for myself, I learned that the Dark Chocolate Peppermint Fudge was the simplest thing in the world to make. Still, it’s never tasted as good as when I was a kid and it was a mystery. Merry Christmas!

If your mouth is watering, you can get the recipe here — including specific instructions on the proper method and accompaniments for eating great dark chocolate fudge!

And now, the question:  What’s YOUR favorite Christmas/Holiday food memory?  Please share in the comments

P.S.  If you’d like to see the rest of the winning Food Memories, visit Shelley’s blog.

Shelley at One Roast Vegetable is a Canadian entrepreneur I began following several years ago when she ran her kitchen out of Montreal, Quebec.  Then a couple years ago she and her hubby followed their dreams and moved to Paris, one of the world’s food capitals.  From her tiny French kitchen she video blogs and runs a membership site, along with a charitable wing that regularly bakes Banana Bread for the homeless!

Bon Appetit, and enjoy the happy fudgieness!

Summer Reading List: In Search of New Titles

The 2010 Summer Reading List
Nominations NOW OPEN

That’s right; it’s almost time for my ELEVENTH ANNUAL Summer Reading List (SRL).  Each year before I take my two-week vacation on the Atlantic shore I solicit ideas for great new reads that you’ve discovered over the past year.  I’m looking for titles on COACHING, HAPPINESS, and LEADERSHIP topics as well as great NOVELS and frothy little BEACH BOOKS.  I’m especially interested in new genres, etc, as my reading tastes are eclectic.** I will check them out, make my selections, and then share the compiled list with all of you, so you can make your own Summer Selections at the bookstore.

If you’d like to participate, please note the following four points:

1. While I welcome the new business titles, I do so much of that all year, so I am STARVING for some great new titles that will help me escape from reality.  Please share what you’ve discovered!
2. I need your ideas by Monday, June 1 — the Tuesday following Memorial Day – in order to give me time to research and get the list published along with the June 23 edition of my newsletter.
3. Please help me manage my Inbox!  Use this link to make your Subject Line, Summer Reading List 2010.
4. Include in the text three items: Full Book Title (including subtitle if you have it), Author, and a full paragraph explaining why you liked/recommend the book.

**If you are new to my SRL or want to get started early on your summer reading, you can find the past three years (’07, ’08, and my 10th annual, ’09) on my Archives Page.

I can’t wait to hear your recommendations!  In anticipation, Jim

Coca Cola and the Happiness Machine

Yes, a high-fructose, corn syrup-based soft drink that is currently under attack for being a significant contributor to the obesity epidemic has gone on the Happiness offensive.  First, watch this delightful video, then keep reading.

Coke = Brand Mastery

I must admire Coke for their masterful work in Brand Management.  I mean, how can you hate a product that makes you smile like this?

What’s YOUR Brand?

I think there’s a lesson here — but it’s not about sugary soda. It’s about things YOU can do, every day, to enhance your “brand” in the world, and change the impact you have on other people:

Do the unexpected. Share joy. Do things that give people a reason to smile. Send flowers. Serve “community food” that brings people together (like pizza or a long sub). Be random. Create a positive environment. Give hugs. When people ask you for something, occasionally give them more than they asked for. Laugh. Share with friends.

Yes, I may be a Coca Cola Grouch when it comes to their product, but I LOVE their message. Share some Happiness today!

Before Happiness, There is Adversity

I have seen no green in my yard since the snows started in the third week of December.  As the ENORMOUS piles are now melting away, spring is popping up all over.  This little montage captures some of what is emerging in my yard — notice how in two of the shots you can see the retreating edge of the snow pile just inches behind the crocuses.

I am, as usual, in awe of how much has been going on BELOW the snow.  Life just can’t be suppressed.  On one side of my house the snow piles were over three feet high, and certainly very heavy.  Yet the daffodils emerging from the snow bank are over six inches high already.  Daffodils are so determined.

I actually feel badly for those who live in climates without a Spring season.  Spring is nature’s time to remind us that just because something LOOKS dead and frozen does not mean that it is over.  Trees bud.  Grass renews.

And spring bulbs are absolutely my favorite plant.  You see, they CANNOT flower without first experiencing the cold of winter.  It is the adversity that allows them to become who they are.  And so we cannot experience a glorious Spring without first passing through the brutal winter.

Human Beings are the same, you know.

Happiness does not, and cannot, exist in a space by itself.  Happiness cannot exist without Sadness.  Contentment has no value if there is not first Disappointment or Anxiety.  Hope takes its sweetness from the experience of Despair and Resignation.  If not for the dark times in our lives, we could not appreciate the good times as deeply as we do.

And that is also HOW we human beings are able to endure even the darkest times, like illness, job loss, accident, & death of a loved one — because we believe that someday we will once again be able to experience the positive side of life that comes after the “snow” retreats from our life or the “rains” stop falling.

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Today, it is sunny outside, and I will enjoy it.  AND soon the rains will start.  And I will endure the grey because I know it will wash away all the dirt and grime of winter and Spring will emerge in a rainbow of colors and a hundred shades of GREEN.

I can’t wait!

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