Before Happiness, There is Adversity

I have seen no green in my yard since the snows started in the third week of December.  As the ENORMOUS piles are now melting away, spring is popping up all over.  This little montage captures some of what is emerging in my yard — notice how in two of the shots you can see the retreating edge of the snow pile just inches behind the crocuses.

I am, as usual, in awe of how much has been going on BELOW the snow.  Life just can’t be suppressed.  On one side of my house the snow piles were over three feet high, and certainly very heavy.  Yet the daffodils emerging from the snow bank are over six inches high already.  Daffodils are so determined.

I actually feel badly for those who live in climates without a Spring season.  Spring is nature’s time to remind us that just because something LOOKS dead and frozen does not mean that it is over.  Trees bud.  Grass renews.

And spring bulbs are absolutely my favorite plant.  You see, they CANNOT flower without first experiencing the cold of winter.  It is the adversity that allows them to become who they are.  And so we cannot experience a glorious Spring without first passing through the brutal winter.

Human Beings are the same, you know.

Happiness does not, and cannot, exist in a space by itself.  Happiness cannot exist without Sadness.  Contentment has no value if there is not first Disappointment or Anxiety.  Hope takes its sweetness from the experience of Despair and Resignation.  If not for the dark times in our lives, we could not appreciate the good times as deeply as we do.

And that is also HOW we human beings are able to endure even the darkest times, like illness, job loss, accident, & death of a loved one — because we believe that someday we will once again be able to experience the positive side of life that comes after the “snow” retreats from our life or the “rains” stop falling.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Today, it is sunny outside, and I will enjoy it.  AND soon the rains will start.  And I will endure the grey because I know it will wash away all the dirt and grime of winter and Spring will emerge in a rainbow of colors and a hundred shades of GREEN.

I can’t wait!

Waking Up Happy

I woke up early this morning — unusual for me — and was unable to go back to sleep.  By the time my alarm went off I was wide awake and eager to meet the day.

I got out of bed filled with an excitement and sense of optimism.  I don’t know where that came from, or why.   And I have no idea where it will lead me today.  Yet I am grateful.  I know that whatever happens for me today will be far better and more fun than if I awoke feeling crabby!

Do you ever have days like this?  Where you wake up and know — just KNOW — that you’re going to have a fabulous day?

Stand Tall. Breathe Deeply.  Smile Often.

Happiness is Contagious

This just in, from the bespectacled researchers at Harvard: Happiness is contagious.

OK, so we’ve known for a long time that moods and emotions spread to those around us.  What’s different about this study is that the researchers have been able to quantify the impact. And it’s not just about who you talk with daily. Neighbors whom you only see occasionally can impact your happiness. And happy people like to cluster: people on Facebook with smiling photos are more likely to be friends with other smilers. Interesting!

Read the full article here: Happiness is Contagious in Social Networks

and see the accompanying video clip from CNN here:

What’s the bottom line? If you hang around with happy people, you’ll feel (15%!) happier. If you are happy, others are more likely to want to hang around with you.

Cool!

Happy Thanksgiving – Inventory Your Wealth

Happy Thanksgiving!

As The Executive Happiness Coach^® I especially love any holiday that carries a greeting of HAPPY in front of it.

You know, many people say that Happiness is the “ultimate currency.” So when we wish each other a “Happy Anything” we are, in a way, wishing for them a life that is wealthy on many levels.

In this time of crisis in which, uncertainty, worry, and fear seem everywhere, give yourself also the gift of hope. Eventually the crisis will pass, the transition will be history, the recession will fade to memory. My wish for you is that you take time during this 2008 Thanksgiving holiday, to inventory the wealth you possess that is independent of money:

Your Relationships
List the people who love you, and whom you love

Your Wisdom
Think about how much you know, and recognize what an asset you are

Your Communities
Write down all the groups of which you are a member – work, family, faith, civic, and even virtual/online

Your Faith
Consider the beliefs you hold; the things you believe in even if you cannot “prove” them

Your Health
Take a deep, deep breath and consider how fabulous it is to be alive (aches and pains and all!)

Your future
Regardless what’s happened till now, the rest of your life is yet unwritten, and you can change the story if you want to

Make time to express gratitude, on purpose. It’s good for you! Gratitude is one of a handful of emotions which create as much good feeling in the Giver as in the Receiver. So remember that when you say, “thanks!” you’re filling up someone else’s tank… as well as your own!

So HAPPY Thanksgiving. I am grateful that you are in my world – as a reader, as a client, as a colleague, as a friend, as a fellow traveler on Spaceship Earth.

In happiness, J

Sometimes you just have to make the decision to be happy

In my year-long quest to see all of the movies nominated for Oscars from last year, I finally picked up Away From Her, with Julie Christie in an absolutely brilliant performance as a woman literally melting away from her life as the linkages in her brain come apart — while her husband, Grant, struggles with the fact that the woman he loves so deeply… no longer remembers him.

Trailer for Away From Her on YouTube

When Grant can no longer handle it by himself, he reaches out to the wife of another Alzheimer’s patient, seeking desperately to ‘fix’ what is happening.  While Grant is alternately sad and angry, Marian (played by the always-fabulous Olympia Dukakis) has a different perspective.  During one scene she and Grant get philosophical.

Marian: “I’m thinking that sometimes you just have to make the decision to be happy.  Just decide.  Things aren’t ever what you hoped they be; not ever; for anybody.  The only thing that separates one kind of person from another is that there are some who stay angry about it and there are some who accept what comes their way.”

Grant: “what kind of person are you?”

Marian: “I was pretty mad about it.  But now — looking at what came my way — I could be the other kind of person!”

And that’s what I’m often talking about — choosing to be that other kind of person.  There’s nothing wrong with anger.  Anger and frustration and sadness are all very real and should be honored and felt deeply.  If we remain too long in those emotions, however, they eventually start to eat away at us and prevent us from noticing that good stuff still occurs in our life.

So, at some point, you just have to decide, “I’m going to give myself permission to experience happiness.  Right now.”

You say that’s not who you are?  That you’ve always been the angry one?  Well, Olympia Dukakis has another great line in the movie: “It’s never too late to become who you might have been.”

You can start today.  Just decide.