The Secret to Living Longer

Last weekend I delivered my “Five Prescriptions for Happiness” talk at the annual Reunion Weekend for the Baldwin Wallace College chapter of Alpha Gamma Delta.  Most of the attendees were current students or recent graduates; there were also a few tables of alumnae with babies in strollers; and a smattering of alums my age.

The Sunday afternoon event capped a day that had started with a fund-raising walk for a local charity and included a festive lunch and celebration, so the mood in the room was quite high.  The women readily engaged in the discussion and the short activities that are part of the talk.

Near the end of my talk, I have the entire audience on their feet for an activity that demonstrates the Mind-Body connection, and this group loved it.  Since I was the closing event for the weekend, the group was adjourned a few mins after my talk ended, and I was surrounded for a few minutes by smiling young women who came over to thank me for delivering such an upbeat message.

Behind the crowd I noticed an older woman waiting patiently for her turn to speak with me.  Eventually the hubbub subsided and she came forward.

“Young man,” she started (I was immediately in love with her – at age 53 I don’t get called ‘young man’ very often anymore!).  “Young man, I agree with everything you say, and I think you’re the best speaker we’ve ever had at this event.”

“Thank you,” I replied politely.  And then a question: “and how many of these have you attended?”  Every single one, it turns out.  Which is a lot.  She and I fell into a longer conversation.

Margaret is 95 years old, and was a 1934 graduate of Baldwin Wallace College.  She is apparently a cultural icon in the BW Alpha Gamma Delta community.  She maintains an active involvement in the chapter; each fall she hosts a barbeque dinner at her house for the chapter and their new initiates…and has been doing so for a LONG time.

She comes across as bright, energetic, and much younger than her chronology would indicate.  I remarked on that.  Her response: “Do you want to know the secret to living a long and happy life?”  “Absolutely!” I declared.

“The secret to living longer is to have friends who are younger.  And now that I’m 95, I have no choice” she said with a wink and a smile.

She’s 95 and stays young by hanging out with 20 year olds – and by keeping her sense of humour sharp.  How cool is that?!

Be In Joy

What is Joy?  Why do we seek it?  This short essay addresses the nature of joy, the different faces of joy, and the benefits of living in in that emotional state:

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Be in Joy

Joy is the elixir for all things. Bring more joy into your tasks. When you radiate a vibration of joy, however mild, there is a shift in response within your body that is reflected in the response of your reality.

It can be an easy as a smile on your face as you do one of your many tasks. This will create a different message to your body and you will shift the usual stress responses to your work and busyness into a more conscious relaxed state of mind/heart.

Become aware of the stages or subtle frequencies of the emotional vibration you label joy. There is ecstasy, rapture, bliss, jubilation, delight, happiness, cheer, gladness, and pleasure. Practice the different frequencies of joy.

Be delighted. Celebrate the small wonders all around you. Rejoice with your breath. Smile for no reason, just smile into the moment. Allow new face muscles to be discovered as you smile into your concerns and worries.

Find cause to laugh, giggle, or radiate cheerfulness, practice being light-hearted, carefree, and elated about the miracles in your life or the miracles of the moment. Be happy, be bright, rejoice and enjoy. Be in Joy.

The skill of maintaining an attitude and frequency of joy is a most important skill. Imagine that you have a joy muscle and you have not exercised it enough. You need to stretch it, expand it and fully express it. Allow joy in any form to proceed you.

Smile as you answer the phone, make a meal, and pay your bills. Smile into the mirror each time you look at your image, smile at your reflection. Smile as you are falling asleep at night. Practice smiling even while you are thinking.

Place your awareness in your heart when you smile. This is a powerful alchemical practice. The simple act of smiling from your heart will attract more joy, bliss, and happiness into your life.

The physical tasks will flow easier, your body will respond by being relaxed with less stress. The worries will evaporate; the tasks will be completed with ease and grace. Joy will clear the way for incredible miracles and expansion. This is a wonderful skill to practice and use that will enhance everything in your life.

The energy field that radiates from joy will transform any experience, activity, outcome or results. Your joy will be like a healing balm to yourself and others in your life. Practice your joy in all is wondrous forms.

Copyright © Peggy Black, Transducer, Scribe and Witness. All rights reserved.
Share freely, pass along, stay in your joy, gratitude and appreciation.

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Today’s post is a direct lift from a website that provided me a big shot of inspiration today.  The author gives permission on her website to distribute freely — which is often the case with people who live in Abundance.  The URL is: http://www.holistic-therapies.ca/newsletter/newsdetail.php?newsid=51

Life is good. Huh?

So, the buckle on my good leather briefcase broke, and while it’s getting fixed I’ve been using another smaller case I purchased from a Life Is Good store in the Chicago Midway airport. It’s actually an over-the-shoulder messenger bag, so when I’m walking around with it the bag hangs behind me.

I’ve been having lots of people say to me, “life’s good, eh?” or “so, life’s good for you?” in the past ten days, and I was feeling pleased that people are relating to my “happiness guy” theme. Then yesterday I was waiting in line for coffee when a gentleman behind me caught my eye and snarled, “what’s good about it?”

Huh? What are you talking about?

Turns out that the “life is good(r)” logo is embroidered nice and big on the three-inch wide strap that hangs down my back when I’m wearing the bag. Here I thought it was my personal, happy presence that was provoking all the comments.

Nope. It’s just the bag.

And funny thing — that same bag that caused most people to smile at me also caused that surly gentleman to snarl. Who am I, indeed, to be happy?! How dare I? I’m ruining his perfectly good funk, and before his morning caffeine!

Some people got a lot of nerve. Yep!

Happiness is not a marathon (it’s more like strength training)

The Akron Marathon is this weekend, and I have two clients and several friends who are running.  Should be a gorgeous weekend!

Thinking about marathons reminded me of a recent discussion I was part of.  I was a guest on a local public radio station show two months ago.  The Sound of Ideas topic was Vacation and Relaxation Deprivation, so most of the show addressed stress in the workplace and our mindsets around not being able to relax. (who better to have on a show about stress than The Executive Happiness Coach!

I had such a great time! Lots of people called or emailed into the show, and we shared many ideas for how one can take a break from stress, take a mini-vacation, etc. If you’d like to hear the whole show (recording is about 50 mins long) you can pick it up at the WCPN archives, http://www.wcpn.org/index.php/WCPN/soi/12794/

One of the other panelists observed that many people see work as a marathon, an endurance race — “I must keep going, going, going.” In reality, it’s more like strength training; periods of intensity with time off in between for recharging and to allow the muscles to rebuild and strengthen.

As someone who spends regular time on fitness, this metaphor feels quite appropriate, and I believe it applies to many areas of our emotional life, too. If I pursue happiness ALL the time, constantly engaging in pleasurable activities and things that keep my excitement high, then pretty soon I will stop appreciating how great it feels, as it will be the norm — I’ll actually become numb to happiness!

A better approach, IMHO, is to ‘visit’ happiness on a regular basis, in between all the other stuff in my life — frustration, fear, upset, envy, impatience, etc. Then when I experience happiness, it will feel far more powerful and positive as a force of renewal, filling my tank back up.

Just as the body needs downtime for the physical muscles to build strength, the emotional self needs downtime (like meditation, quiet moments, periods of reflection) so we have a chance to actually build the emotional strength and awareness that we so desire.

Practice, rest, renewal.  Happiness is more like strength training, for sure!

Don’t Watch TV! (well, maybe a little…)

Sometimes the statistics on advertising make me sad. The other day I read an article that reminded me that the average kid, by the time they enter school, will have already viewed 30,000 commercials. A typical working adult who listens to the radio as they commute by car on a freeway and who watches a hour of television daily can be subjected to between 300 and 1000 marketing messages daily.

One message, over and again: “Don’t be satisfied with what you have.”

Who can be happy when every minute of your day someone is telling you you can’t be happy unless you have their product? Unless you have a sexier car? The body of a supermodel! A bigger house! Nicer stuff!

Marketers live in mortal fear of satisfied people. Why? Because people who are satisfied are no longer consumers. They stop buying ‘stuff.’

~average hour of TV = 40 mins program, 20 mins commercials. Avg commercial 30 secs, that’s 40 per hour, not including product placement on TV shows and movies.

You’re exposed to such messages all over the place, of course. TV is the champion because so many people spend so much time in front of it.

I’m not REALLY saying you should stop watching TV. It does provide entertainment. Still, 33% of your viewing time is spent absorbing messages that say, “don’t be happy! don’t be satisfied!” And then you wonder why you can’t experience more happiness.

BE AWARE of the messages. Turn them off for awhile. Turn off the TV for one week, and let your system rest. Then when you go back to it, notice what happens to your contentment.

Happiness and The Joker

Well, it’s official — THE blockbuster movie of Summer 2008 is The Dark Knight, the new Batman installment starring Heath Ledger as the nihilistic bad guy, the Joker. I finally went to see it on Friday evening.

I don’t evaluate movies based on their Academy Award potential. My standards are: did I have a good time?, and will I recommend it to others? To both, a resounding YES. I had a blast! It is dark, yes. It is chilling at times. The Joker here is a nihilistic bad guy with nothing even resembling a conscience — he is REALLY evil!

He is also scarred. Oh, I’m not talking about the apparent emotional baggage, but the actual physical scarring. He gives different accounts of how it happened, but bottom line is this: at a point in his childhood, his cheeks were sliced open from both corners of his mouth to create an enormous and hideous grin. While the cheeks are healed the scar remains, and he paints the entire scar — down one cheek, across his lips, and up the other cheek — with red.

In one of his stories, he was trying to cheer up his mother, who had ceased to smile. In that version, he took a razor and sliced open his own face in a desperate attempt to increase the size of his smile, hoping it would encourage his mother to also smile.

And I thought, Wow, except for the razor blade part, how many of us do that same sort of thing? We paste on a HUGE smile, in the hopes of encouraging others. But as the Joker learned, it’s not about the facial expression of smiling — it’s about the feeling that goes with it. The Joker enlarged his grin out of fear and desperation, so that’s all his mother picked up from him. In real life, emotions are contagious. A smile based on fear inspires fear. Only a smile based on kindness, compassion, empathy, happiness (or something related) will inspire another person to feel better.

If you’re going to paste on a smile, smile first with your heart. Your face will follow.

Who am I to be happy?