What helps you keep your Commitments?

Over the weekend I spent time preparing for one of my volunteer roles, as retreat leader for the Junior class at the high school my four kids attended from 1996 to 2005 (they graduated, I stayed on!)

Part of that job involves training 18 teen Team Leaders to facilitate their peers in several difficult exercises.  Today’s teens live amidst far more distractions than ever, so this year I began requesting a written commitment to the time and practice required to be fully prepared.

Many on the team told me, after the fall retreat, that having to make a commitment to a non-teacher, non-parent adult helped them stay focused on the “homework” necessary to be successful at the retreat.

What helps you to meet your commitments to yourself? 

• If it’s enrolling coworkers to keep you focused, how many conversations have you held and how many requests have you made?
• If it’s “reporting in” to a coach or partner to create a place of accountability, have you checked in recently?
• If it’s keeping a log or journal of your progress, what have you written, today?
• If it’s maintaining a physical practice to build new awareness in your body or emotions, have you done it at least once, today?

Act on your commitment.  Today.  

TIPS FOR AN UNHAPPY WORKFORCE

Most employees are already Unhappy, so it doesn’t take much effort to nudge them into Insecurity, as well. Here’s a quick reminder of how easy it is to keep your ungrateful subordinates in their place: under your control.**

1. Keep Them Guessing. Tell them nothing that’s not essential to their tiny little jobs.  First, it’s none of their business.  Second, they’re probably too stupid to understand important business concepts like you do.
2. Watch Them Like a Hawk. Show them why they can’t be Trusted.  Check their bags for smuggled company pens.  When you spot phone numbers of friends or family on the call log, highlight those and send an invoice; as a convenience, offer to dock their pay rather than requiring a bank check.
3. Isolation is Your Best Offense. When you see coworkers talking, tell them that sharing ANY company information is a terminable offense.  Don’t communicate with other departments; if no one knows what you do, it will be easier to act hurt or outraged when your budget gets cut.
4. Leverage Fear to Keep Your Calendar Clear. To minimize useless meetings, loudly slam things around when you’re in your office alone.  If you don’t have walls, put on your headset and pretend you are screaming on conference calls.  Avoid eye contact with underlings – it creates false hope that you are approachable.
5. Remind Them Why You’re the Boss. When you know the answer to a problem, say it quickly so you can demonstrate how smart you are.  If you don’t know the answer, sit back and let them solve it, then point out your excellent facilitation skills.

Remember, It’s ALL about the Title: Who needs to learn leadership skills when fear, intimidation, and the exercise of raw power can get the job done with less effort?  Tell your people to get happy on their own time, not yours.

**P.S. Note from Jim: I did NOT have to make up any of this. Each of these bad behaviors came from stories shared by audience members.  Hopefully none of them work for you!

Don’t Use these Four Dirty Words at Work!

Here are four words that you should not tolerate in the workplace:

FAKE – this is toxic for a leader.  If you do not show up in an Authentic way, people will sense it.  Be genuine.

FEAR – when we are uncomfortable, we tend to withdraw.  Leaders must step into the DIScomfort of difficult conversations, doing what is right in the face of their fear.

FINE – is the enemy of great.  When someone tells you they are “fine,” sit down and find out what’s wrong, or what you can do to help them move forward.  If the project status is “fine,” seek what will make it fabulous or excellent!

FAIL – if you cannot tolerate failure, you stifle learning.  Give permission — to self and others — to fail forward.

Remember, Leadership is not about a title: Anyone can be a leader who refuses to accept from their teammates anything less than their best — and who allows people to fail as part of the learning process!

Leadership as Art: Envision the Future

Often we speak of improving some aspect of the workplace, but because the world is moving so fast we believe we must do EVERYTHING while in full sprint mode.  While “making it up as you go” is a legitimate strategy sometimes, is it the best approach to building your future?

Stop.  Take a breath. Put some words on paper to anchor your plan.  Get in front of a blank whiteboard and Draw the new flow.  First, envision the future!

Next, do it in miniature to understand how it will work. Let others see the work so they can start to buy in to your vision.  Implement just parts of the idea to set a framework; or roll out the whole idea in just one part of the organization.  Adjust your vision based on what you learn in executing the “miniature.”

THEN pick up your brush and paints and go to work on the big canvas…

Remember, Leadership is not about a title: Anyone can be a leader who is willing to step back from the daily rush, take a breath, and create the space to “play” with a goal until it feels very clear and familiar.

P.S. If you currently lead a company or division and seek a way to create real change, real fast, you may be interested in our unique Rapid Culture Assimilation™ process, which starts with vision clarity and brings it to life via a series of expanding Conversations across the organization.  You can learn more about the process here.

Stop Managing, Start Leading Your Life

For the past 13 years, in my writing and my speaking, I’ve been quite deliberate in my use of the word, Leadership. Only recently have I realized the degree to which I assumed that everyone who reads or hears my message understands exactly what I mean by that word.  Not!

Most people, I’ve learned, think the terms Manager and Leader are interchangeable.  I use these words to define two different roles we must play to be successful, at work and in life.  Both are important, yet in different ways – and the most successful among us strive to achieve a balance between the two.

This chart shows a sampling of the distinctions I make between the two mindsets:

Manager Mindset:	Leader Mindset
Command, Control Task Focus Compliance with Expectations Metrics & Measurement Maintain the System Reactive stance Safety & Predictability Efficiency (doing things right)	Communication, Conversation Personal Presence Engagement with Vision People & Relationships Build New Systems Proactive stance Risk & Discomfort Effectiveness (doing the right things)

WE LIVE IN A MANAGEMENT CULTURE

We live in a culture that obsesses over control of outcomes, predictability, and immediate gratification (short-term results), which is really a Manager mindset. It’s important to get results, it’s important to have rules and predictability.  Yet if we spend all of our time there, our world is reduced to the pursuit of Perfection (impossible) and the belief that we are always supposed to be “in control” (an illusion) and have a Fix for every problem.  Thus, we are constantly set up for disappointment.

We often agree, in general, that much of what we’ve been doing is no longer working, and we want things to change. But what we really mean when we say we want change is that we want for everyone else to change, and for us to get what we want without discomfort.

Managers, who are fabulous at maintaining the status quo, cannot take us into the future.  Leaders are those who declare a future that is different from the past – and that takes courage and requires that we let go of the familiar to step into the unknown.

Yet in our culture, we often punish leaders, because they make us uncomfortable – even when we agree with them. 

EACH OF US HAS A MANAGER AND A LEADER INSIDE OF US

Your internal Manager (aka Habit) keeps your physical, emotional, and assessment systems running in the background, so you don’t have to think about everything all the time.  Your Manager also provides feedback on your “performance,” and points out when others are creating problems for you.  Most importantly, your Manager works hard to keep things predictable.  .

Your internal Leader challenges you to learn and evolve. Your Leader wants to have conversations about vision and values and a new future, and asks, “are you sure you’re heading in the right direction?”  Your Leader strives to build better connections with others; and most importantly, pushes you out of your comfort zone and reminds you when what you are doing is out of sync with what you say you want — if you choose to listen!

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH HAPPINESS?

When you find yourself “stuck,” it’s often because you have stopped listening to your internal Leader.

To Lead Your Life, you must:

• Declare a different future. Create a new vision for your life.  Reexamine your personal values and notice where your behavior does not align with what you SAY is important.  Then take action to change.
• Take personal responsibility for You. Let go of (ever) blaming others for anything that happens.  You are always half of every relationship, and when you choose to change, you can transform your outcomes.
• Reach out to others for support. Build a team around you (which can include a Coach, of course!) and leverage others to keep you moving in a new direction and hold you accountable to your promises.
• Risk, Fail, Learn, and Grow. Any behavior that’s not working for you can be changed (even if your internal Manager resists).  Try new approaches to how you walk, talk, sit, stand, think, and even how you breathe.  You will feel uncomfortable and you will experience some failure.  Adjust, then practice, practice, practice the new approach. 
• Accept That Perfection is a Myth. Embrace that being effective for the long run is more important than being perfect. 
• Go with the Flow/Let go of Control. Real Leaders accept that they can set a direction but cannot obsess over every detail.  And learning to ride the wave is more realistic than trying to control it.

When you give more power to your internal Leader, you increase your capacity to enjoy life and adjust to what the world throws at you. You will spend less time in anxiety and fear and more time creating the possibility for Happiness, joy, and calm.

Most importantly, you will feel more confident and powerful in your own skin.

FINAL NOTE ON THE JOURNEY:

Management is a skill set, a set of learned tools that you can apply consistently in similar situations.  Preserve your personal management skills, because they keep you on course.

Leadership is a journey, not a specific destination.  While there is a broad set of skills and tools you can master to be a great leader, the truth is that, no matter where you are right now, there is another dimension of Leadership ahead of you.  Keep learning, because the road ahead is sure to be bumpy and the better your adaptation skills, the happier you’ll be!

Lead With Questions

One of the oldest and most enduring leadership models in business today is Situational Leadership (SL), developed by Blanchard and Hersey several decades ago.  The SL model works with the stages of learning through which we all progress when we take on a new task.  The four stages (these are in my own words) are:

1. Clueless
2. Learner
3. Competent yet not Confident
4. Expert

The core lesson of SL is that people at different stages of learning need their leader to treat them according to their situation, or where they are on the learning journey. Someone brand new, who is Clueless, needs a manager to explain everything and provide specific instruction.  A manager who likes to direct and tell people what to do is quite effective for beginners.

Once an individual starts to learn a task, however, a good leader will gradually back off on Telling and shift to Asking questions as a primary tool for motivation. Learners need supportive questions like “What do you already understand?” or “Are you ready for the next step?”  The Competent-yet-not-Confident person needs a coach who will ask, “What do you think the best answer is?” or “What do you need from me?”  Finally, the Expert – who fully understands the task – needs little more than, “Can you take care of this?  Thanks.”

Why are questions such a powerful tool for leading? Because people are motivated in the workplace when they have the opportunity to learn, grow and contribute.  Questions allow people to be part of their own learning, to solve their own problems, and demonstrate their competence.  A manager who insists on telling people what to will destroy motivation and build an environment in which people stop caring — who needs to think if the manager Knows It All?

The best tool for leading is a good question asked at the right time. Leaders who Lead with Questions build positive workplace cultures that allow everyone to feel like they are part of the conversation and that their opinion counts.

Remember: Leadership is not about a title.  Anyone can be a leader who shows up in curiosity and seeks to bring out the best in others by challenging them with Powerful Questions.

Tell Your Team that You Love Them!

THE GIFT OF GREAT EMPLOYEES

Recently, one of my clients was stunned by the resignation of a star employee – a woman he’d been developing for an executive role, possibly even as his successor.  He told me he was meeting with her in a few hours to discuss what he might do to keep her.  Then he shared, “I’m going to let her know that she was being groomed for a top leadership spot.”

“You mean to say,” I asked, “that you’d never told her she was on your high-potential list?” Apparently that discussion had never taken place.

This is not the first time, nor will it be the last, that I climb onto a soapbox and repeat this message: Tell your people – ESPECIALLY your best talent – how much you love them!

Do you remember how much time and attention you lavished on your best and brightest hires when they came on board? How you carved out time to meet with them during orientation, and rearranged your schedule to spend time in training and nurturing the relationship up front?  And then what?  If you’re like many managers, you got busy let your relationship with them shift to low-grade maintenance.

In other words, there was a point when you started to take them for granted. Big mistake.  While the economy may still suffer in many ways, the reality is that most talented people still have lots of options.

Practice Annual Re-Recruitment

Years ago I learned of the process called “Annual Re-recruitment” — and I share it again in the hope that you might avoid having to engage one of your top high-potential people in the conversation of, “what can you do to keep you?” after they’ve already given notice.

Annual Re-recruitment is stunningly simple.  All you need do is identify the top 15-25% of your people and sit down with each of them for a few-minute conversation**, in which you say, “I’m so glad you are here.  I value your talent and your contribution, and I hope we are letting you know that often enough.  I want you to be with us one year from now.  What will it take for that to be true?” Your own words may differ, but hopefully you get the idea.

Don’t assume people know you value them, unless you tell them directly and often!

Remember: Leadership is not about a title.  Anyone can be a leader who seeks to build enduring relationships with good people, and who makes it a priority to deliver positive feedback and give people the opportunity to learn and grow.

**And don’t even think about saying, “Jim, I don’t have the time.”  Because then I’m going to ask you, “Oh, but you DO have the time to update the job description, interview multiple replacement candidates, set aside time for onboarding, and then repeat the training process all over again?”  Nuh, uh.  If you don’t have the time to spend nurturing relationships with your best people, then something is awry, and to figure out what, just look in a mirror.  If you call yourself a leader, then behave like one!

Assertiveness: You Can Do This!

Any emotion that you WANT to experience more can become more natural if you play the role, or practice it, more often.  Let’s look at assertiveness.

In assertiveness, you are able to stand up for yourself or your position from a place of confidence. When you practice assertiveness, you are more likely to get your own needs met and your questions answered without anyone else ‘losing.”

For example, do you ever find yourself in a situation where someone asks, “Are there any questions?” and no one speaks? But you have a ton of questions?  Guess what – it’s very likely that others have concerns or questions similar to yours, but no one wants to be the one to extend the meeting or admit they aren’t completely clear.  99% of the time when someone asks a good question, other people in the room feel relieved because THEY are confused about the same issue, but could not find the courage to raise their hands.  When you do, you will be seen as a little bolder, a little more confident… and you’ll often affect how things roll out.

Or how about when a manager says, “we need a couple people for this task force?”  Do you think, “It will be a waste of time.  I don’t have the energy,” or do you raise your hand to get involved?  When you say Yes to small opportunities, there is risk, e.g. you can mess up, fail, get blamed for what’s not working, and have extra stress in your life.  On the other hand, there is an upside:  you’ve also just put yourself in a situation where you can influence the final decision, learn something new or learn it before others do, make new contacts outside your primary job, and get experience being a spokesperson — all benefits of being assertive!

You can’t win if you don’t play.

The Ohio Lottery for years has used a marketing tagline that says, “You can’t win if you don’t play.”  So get in the game.  Start small. Speak up in situations within your team before you stand up in front at the next all-company meeting.  Or maybe volunteer for a short-term project team to get your feet wet before you try to get on that six-month task force.  Practice, practice, practice pushing yourself out of your comfort zone in tiny ways, even at home or in your community.

And then notice how much stronger your assertiveness muscles become. Notice how others start to look to you to be their “voice” in confusing situations.  See how your willingness to take little risks can help you be more comfortable taking big ones.  And finally, notice how those are all leadership behaviors, that will help you in all areas of your life.

Remember: Leadership is not about a title.  Anyone can be a leader who practices even a bit of risk-taking and uses their personal capital to help improve the culture or conditions in the workplace.  And the more you stretch your assertiveness muscles, the more you grow.

Remove Barriers to Happiness at Work

A good friend is currently tied up in knots about her workplace culture. The company owner rarely shows up to provide guidance, yet resists giving others the power to put rules and policies into place. So the workplace is chaotic, morale is falling, and my friend is debating whether she will continue to work at a company where she feels like she cares more than the owner does.

Sound familiar? We all know what the Survey Says: while money is an important factor, the MAIN motivators that keep people engaged relate to the opportunity to learn, grow, and do their best work. When working conditions get in the way of our ability to contribute, we get frustrated. My friend claims she could get twice as much done if she could get everyone following a similar process, and she’s not asking for more money to do that – she just wants her boss to ELIMINATE the hassles.

Fact is, the owner of her company could continue to be absentee if he’d show up just long enough to declare an end to some confusing processes. And that’s what most people want from their boss: “Tell me what to do, give me the resources I need, and then get out of my way!”

So as Spring fever kicks in, consider taking some time at your next team meeting to ask, “what’s getting in the way of your doing your best work?” Take notes. Ask the team to prioritize. You won’t be able to address all the barriers, but each one you eliminate will reduce frustration and allow people to use more of their capacity to make progress versus fix problems.

Yes, I’m talking to YOU

By the way… you don’t have to be the one in charge to be a leader in this regard. Sometimes the Boss is simply unaware. So please don’t assume that s/he knows of your misery and is ignoring it. Speak up. Declare that there is an Elephant in the Room, and then request help. Often that’s all it takes to get a conversation going that results in a new process, better access to resources, or clarified expectations.

And once frustration goes down, happiness has a better chance of showing up.

Remember: Leadership is not about a title. Anyone can be a leader who helps to remove barriers that prevent people from being and doing their best.