Are You a Maximizer? Part 2

See Part 1 to assess where you are on the continuum.

What are the implications for how you make choices when you are in a Leadership role?

The Maximizer in you can make a great manager when you leverage your thoroughness, are careful about decisions, and hold your teams to high standards. On the extreme end, however, you can come across as a controlling perfectionist who is impossible to please and who overanalyzes everything.

Satisfiers’ strengths as managers can be your flexibility, your speedier decision-making, and your willingness to set general criteria without obsessing about the details. If your Satisfier is on steroids, you may be too willing to settle quickly, fail to review decisions made, or accept mediocrity.

The best leaders recognize that a balanced and flexible style works best. Sometimes the project or decision really IS important, and in those circumstances it is important to follow the details closely and progress carefully at every stage.  Let’s face it, though – most of the work done in organizations needs to be done well, not perfectly.

So the best approach, which lies halfway between Satisfying and Maximizing, is to work with your team to set very clear expectations about outcomes and deadlines – the WHAT you want – but then leave the smart people you hired to identify the path they will follow  — the HOW — to meet those expectations, without you watching over their shoulders or demanding perfection at every step

Remember, Leadership is not about a title: Anyone can be a leader who adjusts their decision-making style based on the relative importance of a the work – knowing when to hold high standards and take it slowly & carefully, and when to allow flexibility and focus on progress vs. perfection.

Be Kind, Not Nice

I recently received a bit of wisdom from a colleague of mine, and it was very important in a conversation I had today with a client, so I”m passing on to you.

First, an important distinction between being NICE and being KIND

Nice is about what the other person is thinking and feeling–it’s their perception of the situation.

Kind is about what you choose to do and why.

When you want to be nice it’s because you want to please the other person; you want everyone to be happy. When you want to be kind it’s because you want to do what is right regardless of how other people feel about it. Nice is permissive. Kind is grace-based discipline

If I want to be nice to my children I will give them what they want, not do what is needed, seek to please them and hope they like me. If I want to be kind to my children I will give them blessings, do what they need, seek to teach them and hope they learn. Nice manipulates. Kindness trains.

What is the lesson for leadership and life?

When you fail to provide critical steering feedback to a team member who is heading down the wrong path, you are being nice.  They will go home and feel good about you and the workplace.  When you intentionally create an UNCOMFORTABLE conversation in which you share your observations and engage that person around improving, you are being Kind.  For if no one tells them, how will they know of the issue?

If you have a friend who’s lost their job, it’s probably important to be Nice to them for a short time. Let them cry on your couch.  Invite them over for drinks and a chance to vent about the mean old company.  But don’t be nice forever.  As a friend, you must be Kind, and look your friend in the eyes and say, “You need to find a job, and you can’t do that from your couch.  I’m happy to help you create a more positive story about your last boss, but I’m not going to listen to the old story anymore.  It’s time, my friend, to get over it.”

If you really, truly want what’s best for yourself and for others, think beyond what will allow everyone to feel good about THIS conversation. Instead, think ahead and, if necessary, step into a NEW conversation that may feel uncomfortable, yet will provide the push or shove or difficult feedback — and support — for what is needed in the future.

Be Kind, not Nice.

True Leaders Sustain

When the business blockbuster Good to Great was published in 2001, author Jim Collins introduced us to the distinction between “celebrity” leaders vs “Level 5” leaders. Both get the job done for their companies; they are very different in their How.

The results achieved by celebrity leaders often decline or disappear when they move on, because the primary tool they bring to problem-solving is the force of their personality.  The Level 5 leader on the other hand, keeps the focus on building systems that can be sustained even when players change.

Another difference between the two is the way they respond to success and crisis. The celebrity looks in the mirror to give credit for success, and out the window to assign blame; the Level 5, in contrast, looks in the mirror to assign blame and looks out the window for someone to credit with success.

From my first reading of this book, I named the distinction “Manager vs Leader,” and still see it that way today. The bottom line is that true leaders (the Level 5) step outside of themselves and the comfort of knowing, and into the DIScomfort of not knowing and taking care of others.  There is nothing wrong with being a manager…but the BEST results come from those who model and nurture strong leadership in their organizations.

Remember, Leadership is not about a title: Anyone can be a leader who builds sustainable systems that best serve the organization, respects people, and shines the spotlight on others, first.

Stop Managing, Start Leading Your Life

For the past 13 years, in my writing and my speaking, I’ve been quite deliberate in my use of the word, Leadership. Only recently have I realized the degree to which I assumed that everyone who reads or hears my message understands exactly what I mean by that word.  Not!

Most people, I’ve learned, think the terms Manager and Leader are interchangeable.  I use these words to define two different roles we must play to be successful, at work and in life.  Both are important, yet in different ways – and the most successful among us strive to achieve a balance between the two.

This chart shows a sampling of the distinctions I make between the two mindsets:

Manager Mindset:	Leader Mindset
Command, Control Task Focus Compliance with Expectations Metrics & Measurement Maintain the System Reactive stance Safety & Predictability Efficiency (doing things right)	Communication, Conversation Personal Presence Engagement with Vision People & Relationships Build New Systems Proactive stance Risk & Discomfort Effectiveness (doing the right things)

WE LIVE IN A MANAGEMENT CULTURE

We live in a culture that obsesses over control of outcomes, predictability, and immediate gratification (short-term results), which is really a Manager mindset. It’s important to get results, it’s important to have rules and predictability.  Yet if we spend all of our time there, our world is reduced to the pursuit of Perfection (impossible) and the belief that we are always supposed to be “in control” (an illusion) and have a Fix for every problem.  Thus, we are constantly set up for disappointment.

We often agree, in general, that much of what we’ve been doing is no longer working, and we want things to change. But what we really mean when we say we want change is that we want for everyone else to change, and for us to get what we want without discomfort.

Managers, who are fabulous at maintaining the status quo, cannot take us into the future.  Leaders are those who declare a future that is different from the past – and that takes courage and requires that we let go of the familiar to step into the unknown.

Yet in our culture, we often punish leaders, because they make us uncomfortable – even when we agree with them. 

EACH OF US HAS A MANAGER AND A LEADER INSIDE OF US

Your internal Manager (aka Habit) keeps your physical, emotional, and assessment systems running in the background, so you don’t have to think about everything all the time.  Your Manager also provides feedback on your “performance,” and points out when others are creating problems for you.  Most importantly, your Manager works hard to keep things predictable.  .

Your internal Leader challenges you to learn and evolve. Your Leader wants to have conversations about vision and values and a new future, and asks, “are you sure you’re heading in the right direction?”  Your Leader strives to build better connections with others; and most importantly, pushes you out of your comfort zone and reminds you when what you are doing is out of sync with what you say you want — if you choose to listen!

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH HAPPINESS?

When you find yourself “stuck,” it’s often because you have stopped listening to your internal Leader.

To Lead Your Life, you must:

• Declare a different future. Create a new vision for your life.  Reexamine your personal values and notice where your behavior does not align with what you SAY is important.  Then take action to change.
• Take personal responsibility for You. Let go of (ever) blaming others for anything that happens.  You are always half of every relationship, and when you choose to change, you can transform your outcomes.
• Reach out to others for support. Build a team around you (which can include a Coach, of course!) and leverage others to keep you moving in a new direction and hold you accountable to your promises.
• Risk, Fail, Learn, and Grow. Any behavior that’s not working for you can be changed (even if your internal Manager resists).  Try new approaches to how you walk, talk, sit, stand, think, and even how you breathe.  You will feel uncomfortable and you will experience some failure.  Adjust, then practice, practice, practice the new approach. 
• Accept That Perfection is a Myth. Embrace that being effective for the long run is more important than being perfect. 
• Go with the Flow/Let go of Control. Real Leaders accept that they can set a direction but cannot obsess over every detail.  And learning to ride the wave is more realistic than trying to control it.

When you give more power to your internal Leader, you increase your capacity to enjoy life and adjust to what the world throws at you. You will spend less time in anxiety and fear and more time creating the possibility for Happiness, joy, and calm.

Most importantly, you will feel more confident and powerful in your own skin.

FINAL NOTE ON THE JOURNEY:

Management is a skill set, a set of learned tools that you can apply consistently in similar situations.  Preserve your personal management skills, because they keep you on course.

Leadership is a journey, not a specific destination.  While there is a broad set of skills and tools you can master to be a great leader, the truth is that, no matter where you are right now, there is another dimension of Leadership ahead of you.  Keep learning, because the road ahead is sure to be bumpy and the better your adaptation skills, the happier you’ll be!

Stress: I can’t stop thinking about this!

A few weeks ago I learned about what the healthcare community refers to as The Big Four.  These are the four behavioral concerns that drive cause and thus Cost in the healthcare system, and which lie at the heart of Wellness.

The Top Four Drivers of Chronic Disease and Healthcare Cost in the US

1. Food choices and Portion size
2. Tobacco
3. Physical Inactivity
4. Stress

The statistics, from a study conducted by the Cleveland Clinic and supported by a meta-study of Global Medical Trends conducted by Towers Watson, show that:

• Poor employee health habits is the leading factor driving medical cost in the US (and it’s the lowest factor globally!)
• 75% of Chronic Disease in the US is driven or aggravated by combinations of these four factors
  and Chronic Disease accounts for:
• 81% of hospital stays
• 91% of prescription drugs, and
• 76% of Office Visits

Now, I’m not a nutritionist, tobacco activist, or personal trainer/physical therapist… but I AM steeped in the conversation of leadership and positive emotion, and suddenly I’m seeing a whole new world of opportunity.

Because, you see, Stress management is at the heart of this. What do you do when you’re stressed?  You eat too much and the “wrong” stuff.  You light up.  You sit on your couch and watch the telly.  And what do you do when you overindulge in junk food, skip your walk, or start smoking?  You get more stressed.  It’s a self-fueling spiral.

Maybe now we can restart the conversation.

Instead of stress management, mindfulness activities, and self-care being “nice to have” tools for the marginally wierd, maybe… just maybe… the enormous expense that we can now associate with the Inability to Manage Stress will start to bring the conversation of happiness and responsible leadership into a whole new light.

Specifically, happier employeess COST LESS MONEY. and better leaders create HAPPIER EMPLOYEES.  Funny, when we speak of positive culture improving productivity, everybody SAYS they “get it”… but nothing changes.  I wonder what will happen as the conversation about the impact of Stress collides with the conversation about out-of-control healthcare expense at 20% of GDP?

I can’t stop thinking about this.  I’m still not sure what to do with it… but it feels huge.

Are you prepared for the future that is coming?

20 years ago the focus was on “being effective;” taking effective action to achieve our goals, make money, have a big house, etc.  And so we pursued our goals at any cost, to be effective.  We exploited the planet, the systems, maximized profit in short term, etc.  Other people were resources to be exploited.

Today the focus must be on effective living. Corporations are starting to speak more often of the triple bottom line: Profit, Planet, and People — making money while ALSO caring for the environment and the people in the organization.

Leaders, you must pay attention, hold meaningful conversations, then act in appropriate ways:

• Awareness –  of what is going on in the world
• Assessment– what are the implications (for people, profit, and planet)?
• Alternatives– what is possible?  what the hell are you going to do about it?
• Action — comes out of awareness and the conversation.

To be ready for the future, you must PAY ATTENTION, and talk about the reality of what’s happening.  Have the tough conversations.  Shift your point of view.  Listen.  Then act.

In the workplace: Focus on the Vital Few

If you’re like many people, you expect a lot – of self and others – on the job.  How much of the stress you experience comes from trying to juggle too many roles, goals, and projects simultaneously?

While you may have a dozen or more items on your project list, remember that the maximum most people can juggle well is five to seven priorities. (Yes, you can pretend to carry more, but the reality is that the more complexity you hold the less effective you become).

From your long list, identify the top three to four then focus all your energy on those vital few priorities.  When one is completed, pull another up to the top, but try to never hold more than four at a time. You will find that you get more done (and at a higher quality) by working on ONLY four priorities at a time than you did when you tried to juggle ten or twelve.

Why is this true?  It’s a lesson from basic physics: when you eliminate the friction – i.e. resistance, discontinuity, resource and schedule conflicts – between those multiple simultaneous priorities, the energy that used to go into unproductive juggling now goes into DOING.

An Exercise for the Workplace

Reach out to an associate (peer or direct report) who appears overwhelmed. Put yourself in the place of a coach, and ask:  “What would you be able to accomplish tomorrow if you only had to worry about ONE THING?”  Draw out an answer, then help them structure the next day around that single focus and protect them from distractions.

This may not be a drill you can do often; yet you will be amazed at the payback from your efforts.  For people who are feeling stuck and overwhelmed, even a single day of feeling productive can help them renew hope and reconnect to their work.

Remember: Leadership is not about a title. The most effective leaders are those who can cut through the clutter and crap to focus on what is most important.  Anyone can be a leader who can help others Simplify and focus so that more of what matters is what gets done!

If you’re not uncomfortable, you’re not leading

People don’t like to be uncomfortable. I cannot recall the last time I had a conversation a leader where the subject of “difficult conversations” about performance did not come up as one of their most feared situations.  Second to that is concern about telling people that “change is coming.”  Meanwhile, we face the reality that forward progress inevitably requires change, and change itself is uncomfortable.  What’s a leader to do?

If you want to be effective as a leader, you’ve got to get over yourself. While you may prefer to spend all your time in a happy, comfortable world where everyone does their job well and processes always work, that is, in the end, a fantasy world in which your role is unnecessary.  The raison d’être – the core justification – for your job is to solve problems, to declare new futures, to reallocate resources, and to name the elephants in the room.

In other words, your role by definition requires that you create discomfort, both for you and for others. I’m not advocating for “control freaks” or for those with anger issues to run amok in the workplace, because those behaviors create a dysfunctional form of discomfort.  I’m simply reminding you that you must, in today’s fast-moving world, continually stir the pot of change, and regularly challenge your team members to step up their game – and hold people accountable for delivering on their commitments.

In order to create discomfort, you must regularly practice that emotional state; you must become friends with unease, concern, nervousness, and even trepidation. When you become intentionally familiar with those emotions in small doses, you will gradually strengthen your ability to manage them.  You will find yourself more capable of holding difficult conversations because you’ll be confident in your ability to “live through the experience.”

How do you “practice” feeling comfortable with discomfort?

1. Start by having small conversations about minor concerns. Address little performance issues as they occur, so that the conversations can be about improvement versus “your job is in jeopardy.”
2. Rehearse your conversations with a coach or colleague. Many times the fear of delivering a difficult message dissipates when you speak it aloud in a practice session – so by the time you have the ‘real’ conversation, your system is already used to the message.
3. When a change is imminent, start talking with people about the high-level issues and direction even before you know all the details. By the time the final details emerge you and the team will have already gotten gradually used to the idea(s).
4. Have difficult conversations as quickly as you can after an issue emerges. 90%+ of the “drama” and discomfort comes not from the issue but from your thinking (and thinking and thinking) about it, and creating stories about what might happen.  Act before your imagination freaks you out.

Remember: Leadership is not about a title.  Anyone can be a leader who can step into the discomfort of a difficult conversation, knowing that on the other side of that discomfort lays greater potential for progress, accomplishment, and a more positive workplace experience.

Is Your Open Door Policy Killing You?

A common concern I hear from my executive clients is that they have great difficulty with strategy time.  The issue usually presents itself like this: “I can’t find the time to think when I’m constantly being interrupted.”  OK, why are you constantly being interrupted?  The response is usually a form of, “we have an Open Door Policy, so I have to be available to everyone.”

That gets me all curious about what their Open Door policy actually says. What is the intent of the policy?  Is it to let all employees know that, if they unsatisfied with how they are being treated, they can take their concern up the chain of command without concern for reprisal (in other words, that ‘all doors are open’ to them)?  OR does it say, “You can walk into anyone’s office, at any time, regardless of your issue, and interrupt what that person is doing?” Does the policy say, “by virtue of this policy, YOU can determine the priorities and schedule of the president of the company, because ‘the policy says’ their door must – literally – be open at all times?”

Usually, the first response I get is a puzzled look.  The latter definition is what a LOT of people think Open Door Policy means.

“Here is an opportunity,” I tell my client, “to regain control of your time.”

Thinking – which is a legitimate and important responsibility of a top leader – requires some stretches of uninterrupted time.  And Conversation – which is also a legitimate and important responsibility of a leader – needs to occur.  But the two activities are often mutually exclusive.  So, just as you schedule meetings, you should schedule time to think, strategize, design, and plan.”

Open door policy or not, you are allowed to close your door when you are trying to concentrate or work on what they pay you to do – think about the future.  You can manage your ‘accessibility’ – which is the real issue in an open door policy – by declaring specific hours of operation.  For instance, if your best thinking/strategizing time is in the morning, you might say, “I am not available for meetings before 10:30 AM.”  Or you can say, “I have set aside from 1 until 3 every day for unscheduled meetings.  My door is wide open between those hours.”

Finally, you must enforce the boundaries you define. If your Closed Door time is prior to 10:30, and Suzie sticks her head in because she wants to talk to you about her boss, you need to say, “Suzie, now’s not a good time, as I’m in the middle of __X__.  I’m happy to speak with you at 11 today. Will that work for you?”  And unless it’s an emergency, she’ll likely say, Yes.  You both win – she gets access, and you get to operate as a strategic-thinking leader.  And nobody, including you, has to live in constant frustration.

Remember: Leadership is not about a title.  Anyone can be a leader who can effectively manage their own priorities by learning to Just Say No in a way that allows them to complete their Thinking work, yet still allows time for Conversation with others.

P.S. this tip works if you’re a parent, as well, by the way.  Or a co-worker.  Or even if you are on a deadline and your boss stops by – Just Say No does not mean you can’t talk… it just means that you say, I have this Boundary, and I ask that you honor that boundary just now.

Happiness is Being True to Who You Are

One of the other speakers at the Singapore HR Summit was Ngahi Bidois, who calls himself a New Age Maori Warrior.  Ngahi — his full name is , Ngahihi o te ra Bidois, which means Rays of the Sun –  is from New Zealand.

20 years ago Ngahi was a college-educated, high-flying, young executive-in-training with a major multinational firm, married to a beautiful woman from the UK, with money in the bank, a house and car, and seemingly having met all the goals he’d set for the himself at that stage of his life.  However, he noticed a hole in his life.

In his talk, he beautifully tells the story of how he came to realize that, in turning his back on his Maori heritage, he was losing a part of himself.  He quit his job and redesigned his life to take his background in leadership and education and use it to strengthen the Maori traditions.  He learned the language of his ancestors, and when he was ready he participated in an ancient tradition, receiving his ta moko, a full-facial tatoo that is the mark of his people, in an 8-hour (very painful!) ceremony. He recently had some incredible photos taken by a guy who’s pix of Ngahi appeared in several national photography magazines.  To see some of the shots (the coolest one is on his home page) visit www.NgahiBidois.com

In his talk on Leadership, Ngahi speaks of being authentic, the importance of listening to others and yourself, and of the importance of Influence in leadership success.  He’s a very inspiring guy, and I was privileged to spend time with him both during a speaker’s forum and at the speaker’s dinner on Wednesday evening.

He is one of the most grounded people I’ve met in a long time — totally happy with where he is in his life.  He really found what was meaningful to him, and now takes obvious delight in taking his message of authenticity and leadership to the world, just as my passion is around leadership and happiness.

Ngahi and I also shared ideas on marketing our messages.  Both of us just finished writing a book and had ‘rush’ printings done so we’d have a small supply to sell at the conference.  Small world!

On a lighter note, the monster.com Monster wandered the huge exhibit hall all during

the conference, and yesterday he grabbed me to take a picture with.  Here’s me and the Monster.  Resumes, anyone?

From Singapore, with Happiness…

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