What’s Love Got To Do With It?

One of my clients has been blogging her way through the coaching experience.  After years of holding all her thoughts inside, she’s discovered that writing helps her reveal herself to herself.  Recently, we revisted an old topic — ♥ self love.♥

This client (who goes by the anonymous title of Spudsie, a childhood nickname) is an animated writer, so if you go to read this entry, hang on for a wild ride.  She’s also “into” references to Winnie-the-Pooh characters.  She’s been channeling Eeyore for years, and she wants to experience more of Tigger.

Take a look at her blog post, here

I mention this because the subject of self-love comes up often in the Happiness conversation.  Spudsie’s struggle is similar to what I see many people go thru, and I really admire her courage in posting her progress on the web.  I’m also impressed with the support she gets from her internet friends across the country.  Her struggles mirror the struggles that other people have, and so she’s created a sort of learning-together community.

♥ ♥ What’s Love Got to Do With Happiness? ♥ ♥

Two weeks ago I heard a series of great motivations talks where the message of self-responsibility was a constant theme.  I attended sessions with a professional speaker from Australia who lived in the UK, a Maori warrior who talks on leadership, a life coach from Vancouver, BC, a Malay gentleman who runs a global school for professional speakers, and an Irish expat who lives in Singapore.

My learning: no matter where you’re from or where on the globe you live, one of the most powerful ways to change your world is to change how you behave, and let the rest of you grow into it.

So the message I brought back into my conversations is this:  If you want the rest of the world to like you/love you/treat you better, guess what? — you have to love yourself, first.  And if you start behaving like you do, after a while you’ll find that ♥ Loving You ♥ starts to feel more and more natural.  Eventually, if you practice self-love enough, your old habits of putting yourself down will hold less power over you, and self confidence will show up more often.

And in that space, you’ll find more Happiness.

So, how might you love yourself more?  What practice(s) could help you feel more loved, loving, and lovable?  (e.g. a simple start might be looking at your own reflection in the mirror and saying, “I love you just the way you are…”).  What physical postures/practices/language would model the way you want to grow into?  Identify a few of those, and start practicing.

As your ♥ self-love ♥ muscles grow stronger, be prepared for your world to start shifting.

In ♥ love ♥ and happiness, Coach Jim

Happiness on the road

I’m on a road trip, and have a schedule that initially caused me some concern — where will I have time to take care of myself?  Tight flight schedules, early morning conference starts, group meals, and the extra time required to navigate an unfamiliar city often conspire to reduce or eliminate self-care time.

Still, I want to honor my values (Health — mental, physical, & emotional – is high on the list) on the road. During seven hours of transit time today, I found the following opportunities:

1. Standing in line to check luggage: a minute to check my stress level (a bit high) and take a few deep breaths to drop my stress down a notch.
2. Negotiating the TSA security checkpoint, I notice many people fumbling luggage and laptops and seemingly unable to negotiate shoe removal.  Over there is a businessman having a partial meltdown because the line is moving slowly.  Hmm — time to notice that I am in assessment about the intelligence of my fellow travelers. Oops!  I notice my frustration, then step back to consider other perspectives: they might be scared, tired, inexperienced travelers, or distracted by other concerns.  I let go of the assessment.  Ahhh.
3. Queuing up in the Southwest line to board the plane.  Time to smile, make eye contact with my fellow travelers, engage in some light conversation.  Nice – the human contact energizes me.
4. Taking off.  I play a little game with myself, which distracts me from thinking about how we could all CRASH AND DIE ANY SECOND!!!! …. as the plane starts down the runway, I lean back in my seat, close my eyes, and take deeeep, even breaths.  I tune in to the plane itself – the rumbling, the whine of the wheels, the vibrations – and I try to sense the precise moment when the plane hits takeoff speed and leaves the ground.
5. I have a two-hour layover.  Good thing, because my second flight leaves from a different concourse  I have a 20 minute walk.  I skip the moving sidewalks and hoof it. There’s half my daily workout!
6. Nothing to do at the gate.  I find a spot by the wall and sit lotus-style on the ground.  At first, I people watch.  After a bit, I shift attention to my breathing, and sit in meditation for a few minutes.
7. Hungry.  It’s way past lunchtime.  I could chow down on airport food (mostly high-fat, high-sugar stuff).  I choose instead (in spite of the fabulous smells coming from the Au Bon Pain store!) to open the bag of healthy homemade granola I brought along.
8. Still hungry.  I buy and consume dark chocolate.  YUM!
   

OK, so nobody’s perfect.  That last bit was to feed my soul, which needs dark chocolate to thrive, dontcha know?! 

So, even when I’m in foreign surroundings, in transit, and with only small pockets of time, I seek to practice happiness.

How about you?  Where do you look for ways to practice happiness and self-care?

Till next time.