“Too Much” Dark Chocolate? Impossible!

“Do you really need that?” my wife asked as I dropped a dark chocolate bar into the grocery cart.

“One can never have too much dark chocolate,” I countered.  She gave me a look…. “I think you have an ample supply,” she offered, grimly.  Hmmm.

Curious, I set out to learn just how much chocolate I possess right now.  Here is my inventory.

In the refrigerator:

• 3 bottles of Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino
• 3 of Dark Chocolate Raspberry Frappuccino  (well, as long as I’m here…make that 2)
• 2 bottles Brooklyn Brewery Black Chocolate Stout (excellent when served with.. Dark Chocolate!)

In the freezer:

• 1 remaining sleeve of Thin Mints Girl Scout Cookies (I freeze them so they last all year — I should finish these just about the time the 2009 cookie sale commences!)

On the counter in my office:

• 6 bars of Lake Champlain 54% Dark Chocolate bars in various stages of consumption, including Peppermint Crunch, Raspberry Truffle, Coffee Truffle, Dark Chocolate Truffle, Dark Chocolate with Almonds, and just a plain Dark Chocolate Bar
• (correction.  The Dark Chocolate Truffle bar is now history.  I needed something to eat with the Dark Chocolate Raspberry Frappuccino…)

In my desk drawer:

• 1 box Altoids Dark Chocolate Dipped Peppermints
• 1 tin Choxie Dark Chocolate Espresso Beans
• 1/2 bag Starbucks Dark Chocolate covered Dried Cherries
• 2 bars Cocoa Via Original Chocolate Bar. This is a mini-bar — only 100 calories — that sports the tagline, “Promotes a Healthy Heart(tm),” so it’s really Health Food

In the pantry:

• 1 half-eaten Godiva Dark and White Chocolate bar
• Part of a 85% Dark Chocolate bar from Russia (I can’t recall the manufacturer — but it’s awesome!)
• 1 nearly empty container of Trader Joe’s Belgian Dark Chocolate Mini Grahams (I bought those for Christmas)
• 1 half-full container Trader Joes’ Dark Chocolate covered Australian Crystallized Ginger (technically, these are a vegetarian, low-sodium food!)
• 3 Fiber One Oats and Chocolate bars
• 2 bars Larabar Jocolat (chocolate) pure organic chocolate food bar (fabulous!  made with dates, almonds, walnuts, cashews and cocoa)
• Part of a Chuao Spicy Maya — 60% dark chocolate bar infused with pasilla chile and cayenne pepper
• 1 jar Love Street Living Foods 100% organic Raw Vegan Chocolate Spread w/ Agave Nectar **This truly IS a healthy food!**
• 1 half-full Jar Nutella hazelnut and cocoa spread
• 1 jar Pure Ohio Creamed Honey Spread, Chocolate flavor, from Ambrose Honeyworks, a local bee farm
• 1 Trader Joe’s 72% DARK Belgian Chocolate bar
• 1 Endangered Species Chocolate bar; 70% Dark Chocolate w/ Raspberries
• 1 bag Dark Chocolate covered Pretzels from Bella Chocolates (a local chocolatier)

In my Coffee Corner:

• 1 Tin Trader Joe’s Sipping Chocolate mix
• 1 nearly-empty tin of Starbucks Mocha Powder (sporting the tagline: “when coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate”)

Oh, and this inventory does not count the tin of Hershey’s Cocoa or the bag of Nestle Semi-Sweet Chocolate chips, because they are technically not for eating — just for cooking.

Is it possible to have too much dark chocolate?

“Too much,” I think, is an assessment.  It feels like an arbitrary judgment.  My wife is a sports fanatic.  Is it possible, I might ask, to watch “too much” football or “too much” baseball?  She would, of course, respond that it is not possible.

Exactly.

She is a consumer of sports, I am a consumer of Dark Chocolate.  Sports is her Vice of Choice, while Dark Chocolate is mine.  I call that a tie!

Besides, if there was NO Dark Chocolate in the house, I would feel insecure and anxious.  What if there’s a snowstorm, and we can’t get to the store for several days, you know what I mean?  Having SOME Dark Chocolate in the house makes me feel warm and secure and content.  I’m a better husband, coach, parent, and Human Being when I consume Dark Chocolate.

So I conclude that the amount of Dark Chocolate in the house is…. Just Right.  And that makes me very happy. 

More Happiness from Starbucks

So, I’m out of coffee beans at home. I wander into my regular Starbucks location for coffee, and decide to pick up a pound of… something. But I’m looking at six different possibilities. What’s the difference? I’m so confused. This is the same feeling I get when I’m standing in the wine aisle. How can I choose without tasting?

A barista notices my perplexity, and makes an offer: “would you like me to press that for you?”

My first reaction was, “you mean, like iron it? Huh?” She explained that she’d be happy to grind a bit of it up and make a fresh pot in the French Press for me to taste. I accepted her offer.

Five minutes later, I had my own private coffee tasting!

And that made me very happy.